When you’re in a relationship but all your friends are single
November 1, 2012 at 9:23 am Zoosk 46 comments
by Heather Parra
It seems like a catch-22, you spend all your time thinking how great it would be to be in a relationship and have someone special, but once you find that person to be your romantic partner you look to your friends and realize they are all single and sometimes it is hard to mesh those two parts of your life. This is the situation I find myself in and have been in for quite a few years now. I have been with my husband, Alex, for over eight years and while our relationship has withstood the test of time, not many have. While we would love to have more couple friends to hang out with, we are not going to abandon our current friends because they aren’t in a relationship and we don’t want to get excluded because we are not single. Making sure you don’t slip into the relationship black hole never to see your single friends again take effort from both parties to ensure that all friendships are maintained.
When Alex and I are around our friends we try to keep the PDA to a minimum, sure we will hold hands and do the occasional kiss or hug, but it only makes the other people you are hanging out with uncomfortable if you stray further from that. We also do a lot of things that can easily accommodate both couples and singles such as having people over for a BBQ, game night, or going to a concert or sporting event. In addition, we are comfortable going out unaccompanied. Many Fridays I will go out to happy hour with my girls and Alex will hit the bars with his friends. We get some quality time with our friends and it helps them think of us as individuals rather than a single unit. Our friends make an effort to include both of us and realize that sometimes we can’t go to everything because sometimes our relationship takes priority. It isn’t easy to be in a relationship when you are surrounded by singles or vice versa. Relationships and friendships need work and as long as you can make time for both without sacrificing the other everything should work out!
About the Author: Heather works as a Senior Revenue Accountant at Zoosk.
Photo via Flickr. Creative Commons License: Attribution-ShareAlike.
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Entry filed under: Dating Advice. Tags: dating advice, online dating, relationship advice, relationships, romance, zoosk, zoosk.com.
Zoosk has received heart-warming letters from couples from all over the world have found love on Zoosk. We are proud to share 
1.
Irene Ching | November 2, 2012 at 7:19 pm
good advice! i was pass on to my coupled friends.
2.
Al | November 5, 2012 at 8:23 pm
Good advice!
3.
Nancy park | November 5, 2012 at 8:49 pm
Very touching story.
4.
Leslie | November 5, 2012 at 8:51 pm
Great article! Wonderful that you manage to balance your friends with it all– I am sure they greatly appreciate it
5.
Marie | November 5, 2012 at 9:15 pm
I would like Heather to write an article like the one above more often. Every other week at least. Thank you.
6.
Sandra | November 5, 2012 at 9:27 pm
Its definitely hard balancing both!
7.
Mary Schrader | November 6, 2012 at 9:53 am
Heather – this is so true. All relationships take work and it’s important to keep your friends too!
8.
Angela | November 6, 2012 at 11:24 am
When you have kids, it changes everything. So, wait as long as possible.
9.
Sizhe | November 6, 2012 at 9:58 pm
Heather – You do a great job at balancing the different relationship in your life. Great advice!
10.
Evelyn | November 7, 2012 at 12:14 am
Awesome post! Girlfriends are the best:)
11.
Jen Truesdell | November 7, 2012 at 9:07 am
So true!!
12.
Kim | November 12, 2012 at 2:25 pm
The balancing act is tough, but you’re doing a great job!
13.
Sierra | November 14, 2012 at 11:23 am
Great article with great advice!
14.
Jaime | November 18, 2012 at 4:21 pm
Wow, I never thought about it from the perspective of a person who’s in a relationship. Real eye-opener. Great article Heather!
15.
Alex | November 19, 2012 at 10:32 am
Very true! We try our hardest!
16.
Janice | November 26, 2012 at 10:39 am
Great article!
17.
Megan C | November 26, 2012 at 10:55 am
Great perspective!
18.
Mike | November 26, 2012 at 11:15 am
Great read.
19.
Megan | November 26, 2012 at 12:20 pm
Great article and great advice! I’ve only seen articles about being single and all you’re friends are in a relationship but I like the perspective from the other side!
20.
Alex | November 26, 2012 at 3:36 pm
Very true.
21.
Emanuel Vega | November 26, 2012 at 4:39 pm
Great article I especially like the part when you say, Its important for your friends to see you as an individual instead of one unit. This is helpful in maintaining ones idividuality with friends =]
22.
gabriela parra | November 26, 2012 at 4:47 pm
Heather heather heather…your awesome!
23.
Ana Burgos | November 26, 2012 at 11:42 pm
Such a great and sweet story. Great advise for young couples! Nice.
24.
Ana Burgos | November 26, 2012 at 11:45 pm
Such a sweet story. Great advise for young copules. Nice!
25.
Chuche | November 27, 2012 at 12:17 am
I liked the part where you talked about BBQs and games.
26.
Paloma | November 27, 2012 at 7:19 pm
What a great blog! Finding a balance between friends and your relationship can be a challenge, but you give good advice for how to balance the two with group events, girls/guys night, and personal time for the relationship.
27.
Paloma | November 27, 2012 at 7:20 pm
Also I agree, keeping the PDA to a minimun is the best thing you can do to make others feel comfortable around the both of you as a couple.
28.
Paloma | November 27, 2012 at 7:22 pm
Great article
29.
Paloma | November 27, 2012 at 7:25 pm
Let me know if you win
30.
Jessica | December 10, 2012 at 9:23 pm
Yeah, it’s tough being on either side I thinkb but its all about finding that balance. More power to you Heather…you got a good thing going
31.
Lola | December 10, 2012 at 9:26 pm
Righteous. I like your style, girl.
32.
Jenay | December 16, 2012 at 5:22 pm
A great article! Thanks for sharing
33.
Shawn | December 16, 2012 at 5:25 pm
Yep, this is certainly common for a lot of twentysomethings today…thanks for sharing!
34.
Bertha | December 16, 2012 at 5:30 pm
Such a balancing act! It’s like being a trapeze artist.
35.
Sarah Chen | December 16, 2012 at 5:33 pm
Awesome post!
36.
Angela Chan | December 16, 2012 at 5:36 pm
Girlfriends rule!!
37.
Shameka | December 17, 2012 at 12:21 pm
So true! Glad you made it a priority to find a balance
38.
Jill | December 18, 2012 at 10:50 am
Good Read. I’d like to hear how it’s going in a few months.
39.
Lorena | December 22, 2012 at 1:49 pm
Good article!
40.
Jennifer | December 27, 2012 at 8:23 am
Good read!
41.
allison | December 27, 2012 at 8:30 am
So true! Can be really tough but its all about balance. Well said.
42.
Fabi | December 27, 2012 at 8:40 am
Great article. Good to know I’m not the only one!
43.
Jess | December 27, 2012 at 8:48 am
Great article!
44.
Veronica | December 27, 2012 at 2:38 pm
Great article. I enjoyed reading it!
45.
Patricia | December 27, 2012 at 2:41 pm
Good article. I’m so lonely.
46.
Jenny | December 28, 2012 at 10:20 am
I totally get this!