by Heather Parra
It seems like a catch-22, you spend all your time thinking how great it would be to be in a relationship and have someone special, but once you find that person to be your romantic partner you look to your friends and realize they are all single and sometimes it is hard to mesh those two parts of your life. This is the situation I find myself in and have been in for quite a few years now. I have been with my husband, Alex, for over eight years and while our relationship has withstood the test of time, not many have. While we would love to have more couple friends to hang out with, we are not going to abandon our current friends because they aren’t in a relationship and we don’t want to get excluded because we are not single. Making sure you don’t slip into the relationship black hole never to see your single friends again take effort from both parties to ensure that all friendships are maintained.
When Alex and I are around our friends we try to keep the PDA to a minimum, sure we will hold hands and do the occasional kiss or hug, but it only makes the other people you are hanging out with uncomfortable if you stray further from that. We also do a lot of things that can easily accommodate both couples and singles such as having people over for a BBQ, game night, or going to a concert or sporting event. In addition, we are comfortable going out unaccompanied. Many Fridays I will go out to happy hour with my girls and Alex will hit the bars with his friends. We get some quality time with our friends and it helps them think of us as individuals rather than a single unit. Our friends make an effort to include both of us and realize that sometimes we can’t go to everything because sometimes our relationship takes priority. It isn’t easy to be in a relationship when you are surrounded by singles or vice versa. Relationships and friendships need work and as long as you can make time for both without sacrificing the other everything should work out!
About the Author: Heather works as a Senior Revenue Accountant at Zoosk.
Photo via Flickr. Creative Commons License: Attribution-ShareAlike.
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good advice! i was pass on to my coupled friends.
Good advice!
Very touching story.
Great article! Wonderful that you manage to balance your friends with it all– I am sure they greatly appreciate it
I would like Heather to write an article like the one above more often. Every other week at least. Thank you.
Its definitely hard balancing both!
Heather – this is so true. All relationships take work and it’s important to keep your friends too!
When you have kids, it changes everything. So, wait as long as possible.
Heather – You do a great job at balancing the different relationship in your life. Great advice!
Awesome post! Girlfriends are the best:)
So true!!
The balancing act is tough, but you’re doing a great job!
Great article with great advice!
Wow, I never thought about it from the perspective of a person who’s in a relationship. Real eye-opener. Great article Heather!
Very true! We try our hardest!
Great article!
Great perspective!
Great read.
Great article and great advice! I’ve only seen articles about being single and all you’re friends are in a relationship but I like the perspective from the other side!
Very true.
Great article I especially like the part when you say, Its important for your friends to see you as an individual instead of one unit. This is helpful in maintaining ones idividuality with friends =]
Heather heather heather…your awesome!
Such a great and sweet story. Great advise for young couples! Nice.
Such a sweet story. Great advise for young copules. Nice!
I liked the part where you talked about BBQs and games.
What a great blog! Finding a balance between friends and your relationship can be a challenge, but you give good advice for how to balance the two with group events, girls/guys night, and personal time for the relationship.
Also I agree, keeping the PDA to a minimun is the best thing you can do to make others feel comfortable around the both of you as a couple.
Great article
Let me know if you win
Yeah, it’s tough being on either side I thinkb but its all about finding that balance. More power to you Heather…you got a good thing going
Righteous. I like your style, girl.
A great article! Thanks for sharing
Yep, this is certainly common for a lot of twentysomethings today…thanks for sharing!
Such a balancing act! It’s like being a trapeze artist.
Awesome post!
Girlfriends rule!!
So true! Glad you made it a priority to find a balance
Good Read. I’d like to hear how it’s going in a few months.
Good article!
Good read!
So true! Can be really tough but its all about balance. Well said.
Great article. Good to know I’m not the only one!
Great article!
Great article. I enjoyed reading it!
Good article. I’m so lonely.
I totally get this!