Posts tagged ‘cyber dating’
She holds the key to his heart, thanks to Zoosk. Meet your love on Zoosk too!
Produced, written, and directed by Juliette Tang
Shot and edited by Juliette Tang and Jason Fairbrother
Featuring Natali Truax
Candace from Canada was hesitant to rejoin Zoosk after her first Zoosk relationship ended, but she renewed her Zoosk account despite those hesitations. Now she’s glad that she gave online dating a second chance, because she met her current fiance a week after she rejoined our service! Yay! (more…)
Congrats to Leila and Greg from Canada! Leila writes this letter to share her wonderful news:
I was on Zoosk for 4 weeks when Greg messaged me. Soon he asked if I wanted to hang out. We met for coffee and stayed out almost all night talking! When he brought me home I gave him a hug and when I was going to pull away he wouldn’t let me go and we just stared into each others eyes. It was love at first sight. On July 4th, 2009 he asked me to be his girlfriend and last November we moved in together. We are still living together today! It has been 1 year and 3 months now since we met and we are still going strong today and are talking about getting married and having a baby in the future. Thank you Zoosk for bringing me to my soul mate!!!
Let’s all send Leila and Greg our best wishes and congratulate them on their romantic Zoosk success story! Reader, do you have a Zoosk romance you’d like to share with us? If so, send it to success [at] zoosk [dot] com and we’ll happily share your story for you! For more success stories, check out Zoosk’s success story archives. If you like what you see, fan us on Facebook, follow us on Twitter, and make sure you check out our romantic videos on ZooskTV!
By Jod Kaftan
Lately, I’ve started thinking of some alternative careers. One that came to mind, after speaking with my friend Amy, is that I could be an inter-species translator. Imagine what help that could be to the online dating community!
Amy was telling me about how she was dating this guy but “didn’t want to take things too seriously.”
“Did you tell him this?” I asked
“Yes! And the great thing is that he feels exactly the same way!”
Uh oh. I didn’t want to burst her bubble. But I had to think of her best interest. They actually don’t feel the same way at all. There are huge differences between what men and women mean when they say this, and in how men and women perceive dating and relationships.
Male commitment-phobes and how to deal with them
Let me begin by shamelessly exposing my own life. The morning after the first amorous date with my wife, she said, unprompted, that she wanted to take things slow. At the time I thought, “Cool, no pressure!” As a male commitment-phobe, it was magic to my ears. Then she started calling me every night. We started seeing each other every weekend. But in my brute male brain, I was thinking there’s some cognitive dissonance here. Why is she so actively involved if she doesn’t want to take things too seriously and go slow?
This contradiction would have bothered me in most cases if she had been someone who—bingo!—I also wanted to not take things too seriously with. But the truth was I did want to get serious. (Guys: I didn’t tell her this of course until she finally admitted she did as well.) The point is that I realized her saying she wanted to go slow was a kind of defense mechanism. It didn’t mean she didn’t want a relationship. It meant she wanted to make sure I wasn’t a jerk.
When a guy says he wants to take it slow, what he means is…
Now, when a boy says he “wants to go slow” or “not take things too seriously,” he, um, really means it. Actually what he’s really saying is, “I’m not ready for any emotional involvement at all.” He just wants company. And if you really like him, then you should avoid him. Tell him, “When you’re ready for something real, call me.” Because no amount of a woman’s greatness can make a guy in that state come around. He has to get there on his own—usually through some brutal trial and error.
Be straightforward, ask the right questions
I’m not saying make him sign a contract in blood. But a simple answer of “yes” to the question “Do you want something authentic?” will indicate that he’s not looking for a hoochie mama. Now if he says he wants something real but doesn’t call every night, don’t take that as a sign that he’s not interested. He’s probably trying to appear like he’s not groveling. The bottom line is that love is about taking chances, but by reading between the lines, you can at least minimize your hardship.
The point of the story is, don’t muddle a situation to the point where you need an inter-species translator. Take control of a situation early before things get successively more confusing. Despite a difference in communication, men and women can speak the same language, if they try.
About Jod Kaftan: A long recovering bachelor (some would say “lout”) who decided to make the leap and marry the girl he loved, Jod Kaftan is still figuring it all out–if only he’d follow his own advice. Jod is a contributing editor at the LA Times Magazine. He has contributed to Rolling Stone, Salon, The Los Angeles Times and the New York Times. Follow Jod on Twitter @Jodspeed!