Posts tagged ‘dating advice’
Cloud Atlas – date night movie? I say yes!
by Jimi Alfaro
I went on a date the other day to see Cloud Atlas. This move was visually stunning and very complex. The good thing was that the movie has been out for a few weeks so the theater was not full. I would recommend this setting. The movie can be hard to follow. It jumps around from time line to time line. We had a great time whispering to each other about what was happening and where we got lost. In many ways we had a team building exercise. We helped each other stat up to speed with what was happening in the movie. Some good action, romance and adventure parts of the movie. We shared popcorn and snuck in an adult beverage. We had such a good time. After we went to a bar, ordered a drink and tried to figure out what we just saw. Nice relaxed date night. For me I feel like we got to know each other much better. The movie got us talking and laughing at it’s complexity. I think next movie date night we’ll shoot for something easier to follow like Wreck it Ralph.
About the author: Jimi is works at Zoosk as a Recruiter. He’s a Bay Area sports fan, talent scout and resume wrangler.
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How to talk to girls – from a girl’s point of view
by Karen and Jimi Alfaro
As a girl, I can see how difficult it can be for a guy to approach a girl in a public setting. But then again, it’s just as difficult for a girl to approach a guy. But that’s a separate blog post….
Guys, there are things that you should do, and things that you shouldn’t do. But how are you supposed to know the difference? Here are 3 pieces of advice that you can have confidence in:
1. Do approach a group of three or more girls. Believe it or not, they’re your best bet. Why? Because when you strike up a conversation with a group of girls, you have cast a wider net and your chances are greater that you’ll hit it off with one of them. And when you do, you can focus your attention on her and not have to entertain her companions with conversation (like you would if there were only two girls). Her friends will entertain themselves probably by giggling about the two of you.
2. Be lighthearted, be confident, and be nice. I know there’s contention here that “nice guys finish last”, but I’d rather talk to a guy who smiles and is nice to me than a guy who’s being a jerk.
3. Don’t bring a girl to be your wingman unless she’s your sister. Having a female friend as your wingman doesn’t increase your chances no matter how much she talks you up. We’ll always wonder what’s so wrong with you that she won’t date you.
Photo via Flickr. Creative Commons License, Attribution ShareAlike.
Thoughts on Dinner Dates
by Loris Zuchetti
When going on a date with someone for the first time, it is always a good idea to start light and casual. You want to get to know each other, have fun and be safe. Amidst all the possible public places, the first thing that often comes to mind is to meet for dinner at a restaurant. Safe? Check. Have fun and get to know each other? Not so much. Why?
First, dinner puts a lot of pressure on your conversational skills, since there is no major external source of entertainment. Why make it more difficult for yourself? Also, dinner is a clichéd date. You’ve both been on several dinner dates with other people. If you’re a man, right away you are conveying that you are “conventional,” and “just another guy.” It won’t kill you, but it definitely doesn’t help you.
Thirdly, at dinner you’re often sitting across a table from each other. That table is both a physical and an emotional barrier. I’m not suggesting you should physically escalate in public. I’m saying that proximity is key to set a romantic frame with the other person. Give Cupid some room to shoot his arrows.
Lastly, not all first dates are with Mr. or Mrs. Right. I’m sure you’ve been on an awkward first date before, haven’t you? You were probably thinking of a lame excuse to bail – “My cat is not feeling well” and the like. If you’re sitting at a dinner table, it is harder and pretty awkward to get up and leave than if you’re just having a drink at a bar.
But if dinner dates are so detrimental to your love life, where else should you go? Allow me to suggest some alternatives.
1. Go somewhere you can have a laugh. In my opinion, comedy shows are an excellent choice. Laughter is aphrodisiac, contagious and rejuvenating.
2. Try something cultural. I would also recommend live music shows, museums, galleries, and the beach whenever possible. These, rather than mere locations, are actual activities that you’re doing together and allow you both to quickly assess if there’s chemistry and potential for a relationship.
3. Go for a friendly drink. If you’re not the outdoorsy or the adventurous type, I’d suggest happy hour. Sit next to each other at a counter, where verbal communication is easy, the context is light and casual, and yes, the bill is generally cheaper than a full dinner.
You can’t go wrong with a well thought out date along the lines of the above. If you’re unsure about how you feel, save the high pressure dinner dates for later down the road, when you know your partner better and you both have something to celebrate.
About the author: Loris is the Country Manager for Zoosk Italy. He enjoys working out and going to live shows.
Photo via Flickr. Creative Commons License, Attribution ShareAlike.
You’re sexy and you know it
by Jimi Alfaro
Often when in a long term relationship it’s easy to get a little lazy with your appearance. We like to dress up and look sexy during the honeymoon phase. We wear our designer or hip clothing that makes us feel confident to work. When we get home it’s easy to get into the habit of stripping down and putting on some much need comfy clothes. When both sides start getting into this routine the sexiness, the allure, the chivalry can slow down. The couple starts hanging out with each other rather then being together.
Depending on what you wear to class, the lame 9-5 or the air conditioned office it’s completely fair to want to get changed when you get home. Do get changed. Do get comfortable. But instead of getting into the comfortable cotton shorts, yoga pants or that perfect pair of worn in jeans that may or may not have a hole in it. Put on some nice weekend day clothing. Something you’d wear out to a nice bar for lunch or shopping in a nice shop. You can go as far as even organizing your closet accordingly. M-F day wear, M-F evening wear, going out/party wear, comfy wear. Though that might just be me being anal about closet organization.
The idea is to keep looking good for your partner. Keep yourself feeling confident and comfortable after a long day. While there will be plenty of nights that your yoga pants or cotton shorts will be a must have on. Try to keep this in mind. From time to time turn up your style at home. Dress up. Allure and arouse your partner. This well keep your eyes on each more then on the TV.
Photo via Flickr. Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs.
About the author: Jimi is works at Zoosk as a Recruiter. He’s a Bay Area sports fan, talent scout and resume wrangler.
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10 Ideas for Group Dates
by Mark Wu
Picture this: Your girlfriend wants to go out with her two best friends and their boyfriends – again. Girls love planning group outings involving their significant others, but going on dates with other couples can be pretty hit or miss.
Yes, group dinner dates are enjoyable every once in a while, but once you find yourself playing the “so what do you do?” game with another dude on your sixth dimly lit tapas night, it’s time to suggest some group activities that are fun for you – that the girls will approve of, too.
1. Mixology class: You’ll graduate as a group from drinking vodka cranberries when you sign up for a cocktail making course together. Learn basic bar techniques to craft your own cocktails – and then have a drink or two together to celebrate!
2. Video game night: If you’re just looking for a fun night at home, dig up your old gaming consoles and play some of the classics. Mario Kart on N64 is a guaranteed good time for everyone.
3. Brewery tour: Head to a local brewery to join beer enthusiasts, tourists, and thirsty folks for a behind-the-scenes look at how your favorite local beer is brewed.
4. Shooting range: While definitely not a date in the traditional sense, it’s a date idea you can definitely rally the other guys behind. And it’s always nice to have others around to admire (or commiserate over) your own marksmanship.
5. Wine and cheese party: Have each couple bring over a bottle of wine and a few of their favorite cheese pairings for an easy and delicious night in. Girls love hosting, and you don’t even have to leave the house – just drink and eat cheese.
6. BYOB painting: Channel your inner artist and create your own piece de resistance at your nearest BYOB painting venue. Most painting party spots provide instructors and all of the art supplies – all you need to bring is your own wine.
7. Bowling: Bowling is a classic group activity for a reason: It’s one of the few sports that’s enjoyable even if you’re terrible at it, and the beer and greasy finger food usually makes you forget about all but those strikes.
8. See an outdoor movie: For a group twist on the traditional dinner-and-a-movie, throw together your own picnic baskets and grab a few bottles of wine to take to an outdoor movie. It’s much easier than socializing along a row of seats in a dark movie theater – plus more romantic, too.
9. Go-karting: Put your driving skills to the test with wheel-to-wheel racing at a nearby go-karting center. It’s fun, competitive, and gets the blood pumping.
10. Comedy club: Nothing breaks the ice for an awkward group date like a good laugh. And even if your group isn’t that funny, at least the show will be hilarious.
*Bonus* Minigolfing: One of my best date ideas. Think about it – it’s a low skill game so either one of you can win. It keeps you moving and occupies you with something to do, but also slow enough so that you can talk and flirt with each other. It takes a pretty reasonable amount of time. You can make fun of each other’s bad shots and bond over the great ones. It works great as a 1 on 1 date as well as a group date. Try this bad boy out on your next date!
Photo via Flickr. Creative Commons Attribution No Derivs.
About the author: Mark is a Marketing Manager at Zoosk. He enjoys playing basketball, going clubbing, and watching Jeremy Lin.
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The Longest Relationship in the World
Zoosk got a chance to interview the longest lasting couple in the world – can you believe they’ve been together for 87 years?! – about their secrets to keeping their romance live. Check out our interview and story in the Daily Mail! We even presented them with a Zoosk Certificate of Achievement. Isn’t the photo adorable?
How long has your longest relationship lasted? What are your secrets for keeping the love alive? Share in the comments section below! (more…)
When you’re in a relationship but all your friends are single
by Heather Parra
It seems like a catch-22, you spend all your time thinking how great it would be to be in a relationship and have someone special, but once you find that person to be your romantic partner you look to your friends and realize they are all single and sometimes it is hard to mesh those two parts of your life. This is the situation I find myself in and have been in for quite a few years now. I have been with my husband, Alex, for over eight years and while our relationship has withstood the test of time, not many have. While we would love to have more couple friends to hang out with, we are not going to abandon our current friends because they aren’t in a relationship and we don’t want to get excluded because we are not single. Making sure you don’t slip into the relationship black hole never to see your single friends again take effort from both parties to ensure that all friendships are maintained.
When Alex and I are around our friends we try to keep the PDA to a minimum, sure we will hold hands and do the occasional kiss or hug, but it only makes the other people you are hanging out with uncomfortable if you stray further from that. We also do a lot of things that can easily accommodate both couples and singles such as having people over for a BBQ, game night, or going to a concert or sporting event. In addition, we are comfortable going out unaccompanied. Many Fridays I will go out to happy hour with my girls and Alex will hit the bars with his friends. We get some quality time with our friends and it helps them think of us as individuals rather than a single unit. Our friends make an effort to include both of us and realize that sometimes we can’t go to everything because sometimes our relationship takes priority. It isn’t easy to be in a relationship when you are surrounded by singles or vice versa. Relationships and friendships need work and as long as you can make time for both without sacrificing the other everything should work out!
About the Author: Heather works as a Senior Revenue Accountant at Zoosk.
Photo via Flickr. Creative Commons License: Attribution-ShareAlike.
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Global Perspective on Moustaches and More
During the month of November, thousands of men around the world will grow mustaches as part of Movember, a movement to promote and raise funds for men’s health issues, specifically prostate and testicular cancer. We here at Zoosk.com recently conducted surveys among thousands of Zooskers around the globe to gather their thoughts on facial hair and how it plays out in their relationships. Here’s what we found:
Facial hair is gaining in popularity in the U.S.
• Only 50% of American men surveyed report that their father had facial hair.
• Today, 64% of American men say they have facial hair.
• Mustache may be a French word, however, only 40% of French men say they have facial hair.
The #1 reason men grow facial hair? It gives them more confidence.
• 40% of American men (and 44% of men worldwide) say when they have facial hair, they feel more confident.
• Other reasons why men grow facial hair? 36% of American men say they feel more attractive, 15% feel more sophisticated, and 9% feel more intelligent with facial hair.
80% of American women are okay with, and even attracted to, men with facial hair.
• It must be an English-speaking thing — 80% of American women and 69% of women in the UK and Canada say that facial hair on their man is a-ok.
• However, the majority of women in Australia, France, Mexico and Denmark prefer clean-shaven men.
The goatee wins as the preferred form of facial hair among American women.
• 36% of American women say they prefer men sport a goatee (as opposed to a beard or mustache).
• Men take note! Women say the “soul patch” is the least-preferred form of facial hair.
Growing facial hair for a cause can lead to romance!
• 63% of American women say that they would be more open to romance with a man who grew facial hair for a worthy cause.
• French women feel the opposite way, with only 27% saying that they would feel more romantic with a man who grew facial hair for a cause.
Women around the world agree that Johnny Depp sports the best facial hair.
• More than 50% of the women surveyed around the world say Johnny Depp is the celebrity with the best facial hair.
U.S. men think Sean Connery has the best facial hair.
• 45% of American men say Sean Connery as the celeb with the best facial hair. Johnny Depp comes in 2nd place with 26% of the votes among men.
The Zoosk Facial Hair Survey was conducted online by Zoosk in October 2012 in the U.S, Australia, Canada, Denmark, France, Mexico, Sweden, and the U.K.
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Dating and Texting
by Derek Zornizer
Nowadays, it seems that everyone from ‘tweeners’ to the elderly know how to text and use it daily. In a society where immediacy is the norm, texting has its benefits: It’s fast, easy, and an effective form of communication – ‘Communication’ not ‘conversation’. What do I mean? A text can get a message across quickly – like an address or the name of a restaurant. Texting also has its drawbacks as well and it seems now that everyone and specifically daters use texting for actual conversation. Chocked full of pictures, videos, and ‘emoticons’, texting has become the ‘preferred’ way for singles to communicate instead of actually talking to one-another. Frankly, I think that’s a shame.
The problem with texting is that it’s just…Text. You can’t hear the other person’s voice nor can you gauge the other person’s emotions from texts and when you’re trying to get to know someone of the opposite sex, those can be very important. “But what about emoticons? ” Sorry, I don’t think a smiley face can replace a person’s actual vocal inflections and I can’t count how many times I’ve misunderstood a girl’s text because I couldn’t tell if she was seriously upset or just sarcastically joking! As the old adage goes, “it’s not just what someone says that’s important, it’s how they say it.” For daters, it’s really important to get a sense of the other person by listening to what he/she is saying and when two singles rely on texting for the majority of their communication, they are not able too and thus communication is lost.
Another problem with solely texting your romantic interest is that both people can conjure up their texts with no urgency and no stress which allows both people to ‘paint’ the best possible responses to each other instead of just being ‘real’. Over the phone or in person, you can’t pause when you’re asked a question. In person, if you look uncomfortable when asked about that weird birthmark behind your ear, that’ll come through. When texting, none of that does and so you don’t get a true sense of the other person and communication is degraded.
While texting does have its purposes, like almost anything, it can be over-used and abused to the detriment of both people. When you’re just starting to date someone, communication is extremely important so being able to hear and see the other person when you converse with them helps both people get a much more accurate picture of each-other. A guy can be ‘Price Charming’ over text but just a weirdo when put on the spot in person. It happens all the time!
Call me old-fashioned but I don’t believe texting is a good method of communication and if either of you can’t muster up the courage to actually express emotions over the phone or in person, how can you actually survive a real relationship? Share your thoughts in the comments section below!
About the author: Derek is a Senior Marketing Manager in charge of mobile and has been with Zoosk for over three years. He enjoys playing guitar, working out, and a good glass of red wine.
Photo via Flickr. Creative Commons license: Attribution-NoDerivs.
Keeping the Romance Alive
by Felix Benhoerster
Being in a relationship can be hard work. And anyone who disagrees is either lying
or not in a relationship. But honestly, it’s difficult to be selfless and committed to
another person all the time. Living with your significant other or spouse is obviously
a necessary step in a progressing relationship, but it also takes away the element of
excitement. Being in a long-term relationship and recently married, my wife and I
agree that one of the hardest tasks in a relationship is ‘keeping your romance alive.’
Everyone’s romance is different, but being with a woman who has stressed this for
almost 5 years, I have narrowed it down to 3 simple ways to keep that spark.
1. Be Spontaneous. Don’t get me wrong; being comfortable with someone is
wonderful, and routine can actually be very sexy. But every once in awhile (even
though they may not admit it), your significant other would love to be surprised.
Plan a mid-week date night or bring them breakfast in bed. A few years ago on
Valentine’s Day, I packed a bag and went to a friend’s house. I left a note on the
bed telling my now wife to be ready at 7 and to dress nice. I knocked on the door
(of the apartment we lived in together) at 7 o’clock sharp, showered and dressed
with flowers in hand. While we can’t go back to the beginning of our relationship
with first dates and feelings of nervousness, being spontaneous can add back that
element of excitement and anticipation that a lot of relationships lose over time.
(She still tells that story to people)
2. Celebrate. This one has been HUGE in our relationship. Celebrate everything,
anything, and just because. Whether it’s bringing home a special dessert to celebrate
the fact that it’s Thursday, a sweet greeting card recognizing your ‘month-iversary’,
or cocktails at a cool dive bar to celebrate a promotion. My wife and I recognized
and celebrated our anniversary every month for the first few years we were dating.
It always gave us something to look forward to and was a fun way to keep track of
our time together.
3. Mix it up. The classic dinner date is staple and of course romantic. But changing
it up can also add excitement. Check out a free food and music festival in your area.
Rent bikes and spend the afternoon exploring a new neighborhood. Plan a picnic
or build a fort in your living room. Whatever it is you normally do to spend time
together, try something new.
Keeping the romance alive comes in all forms. But it doesn’t require breaking the
bank or huge amounts of time. You just need a little creativity!
What keeps your romance alive? Share your thoughts in the comments below!
About the author: Felix works for Zoosk Marketing. In his spare time, he likes to play any type of sports, eat strange foods, and travel to new places whenever he gets the chance.
Image via Flickr. Creative Commons License: Attribution-NoDerivs.
Zoosk has received heart-warming letters from couples from all over the world have found love on Zoosk. We are proud to share 
