Posts tagged ‘dating tips’
5 date ideas for inspiration
by Jimi Alfaro
Looking for some fun and memorable first date ideas? Try these.
- A chef-led cooking class. Typically a delicious 3-5 course meal, there’s plenty of time to get to know the other person and discover how compatible you are (whether you’re in the kitchen or not).
- Piano bars. The dueling kind. Not as embarrassing as karaoke but just as fun and inviting for anyone. Make sure you have enough bills to nix any songs on your date’s do-not-play list.
- A variety show. Look for live shows in your area that have many different acts. Think: America’s Got Talent or Cirque du Soleil, any impressive feat onstage is sure to impress your date.
- Amusement park. Even if your date doesn’t like the rides, today’s parks offer many other entertainments, like games, live and taped shows, food and drink, and landscaped paths to wander and people watch.
- An aquarium. Aquariums are typically very beautiful and offer a lot for your first conversation. Just make sure you pick a time where it won’t too crowded so you can leisurely stroll through and admire the sights.
Whatever you choose for your first date, make sure there’s enough peace for conversation but enough distraction so you don’t feel the need to talk incessantly. AND HAVE FUN!!
Photo via Flickr. License: Creative Commons Attribution Share Alike.
About the author: Jimi works at Zoosk as a Recruiter. He’s a Bay Area sports fan, talent scout and resume wrangler.
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Ten tips on keeping the romance alive on a budget this month
Christmas and the festive period makes December an expensive time of year for couples and singles alike. But that shouldn’t mean that your relationship needs to suffer. Couples can still celebrate romance this winter without breaking the bank. Zoosk teamed up with the publication Female First as well as Sarah Willingham of the website Let’s Save Some Money to come up with these 10 wallet saving activities for couples to do in order to celebrate love within their budget:
- Make an iTunes playlist
- Write a love note
- Have a cozy indoor picnic
- Read the Sunday papers together
- Make a scrapbook of your photos together
- If you go on holiday, try doing a home swap
- Cook together from scratch
- Watch a classic romance movie
- Hang mistletoe over your doorways
- Use one of the many popular deal sites to have a night away
Read the full article over at FemaleFirst to get a more in-depth take on these wallet-friendly and relationship-friendly tips! Happy Zoosking!
Picture via Flickr. License: Creative Commons Attribution Share-Alike.
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Love Lessons from a Fashion Designer
Zoosk went to fashion designer Anousheh Pasha for advice on dressing to impress your romantic someone. Check out her professional tips on looking your best at all the festive events coming up during the holiday season! And watch the rest of Zoosk’s Love Lessons series on our YouTube page.
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Cloud Atlas – date night movie? I say yes!
by Jimi Alfaro
I went on a date the other day to see Cloud Atlas. This move was visually stunning and very complex. The good thing was that the movie has been out for a few weeks so the theater was not full. I would recommend this setting. The movie can be hard to follow. It jumps around from time line to time line. We had a great time whispering to each other about what was happening and where we got lost. In many ways we had a team building exercise. We helped each other stat up to speed with what was happening in the movie. Some good action, romance and adventure parts of the movie. We shared popcorn and snuck in an adult beverage. We had such a good time. After we went to a bar, ordered a drink and tried to figure out what we just saw. Nice relaxed date night. For me I feel like we got to know each other much better. The movie got us talking and laughing at it’s complexity. I think next movie date night we’ll shoot for something easier to follow like Wreck it Ralph.
About the author: Jimi is works at Zoosk as a Recruiter. He’s a Bay Area sports fan, talent scout and resume wrangler.
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How to talk to girls – from a girl’s point of view
by Karen and Jimi Alfaro
As a girl, I can see how difficult it can be for a guy to approach a girl in a public setting. But then again, it’s just as difficult for a girl to approach a guy. But that’s a separate blog post….
Guys, there are things that you should do, and things that you shouldn’t do. But how are you supposed to know the difference? Here are 3 pieces of advice that you can have confidence in:
1. Do approach a group of three or more girls. Believe it or not, they’re your best bet. Why? Because when you strike up a conversation with a group of girls, you have cast a wider net and your chances are greater that you’ll hit it off with one of them. And when you do, you can focus your attention on her and not have to entertain her companions with conversation (like you would if there were only two girls). Her friends will entertain themselves probably by giggling about the two of you.
2. Be lighthearted, be confident, and be nice. I know there’s contention here that “nice guys finish last”, but I’d rather talk to a guy who smiles and is nice to me than a guy who’s being a jerk.
3. Don’t bring a girl to be your wingman unless she’s your sister. Having a female friend as your wingman doesn’t increase your chances no matter how much she talks you up. We’ll always wonder what’s so wrong with you that she won’t date you.
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Thoughts on Dinner Dates
by Loris Zuchetti
When going on a date with someone for the first time, it is always a good idea to start light and casual. You want to get to know each other, have fun and be safe. Amidst all the possible public places, the first thing that often comes to mind is to meet for dinner at a restaurant. Safe? Check. Have fun and get to know each other? Not so much. Why?
First, dinner puts a lot of pressure on your conversational skills, since there is no major external source of entertainment. Why make it more difficult for yourself? Also, dinner is a clichéd date. You’ve both been on several dinner dates with other people. If you’re a man, right away you are conveying that you are “conventional,” and “just another guy.” It won’t kill you, but it definitely doesn’t help you.
Thirdly, at dinner you’re often sitting across a table from each other. That table is both a physical and an emotional barrier. I’m not suggesting you should physically escalate in public. I’m saying that proximity is key to set a romantic frame with the other person. Give Cupid some room to shoot his arrows.
Lastly, not all first dates are with Mr. or Mrs. Right. I’m sure you’ve been on an awkward first date before, haven’t you? You were probably thinking of a lame excuse to bail – “My cat is not feeling well” and the like. If you’re sitting at a dinner table, it is harder and pretty awkward to get up and leave than if you’re just having a drink at a bar.
But if dinner dates are so detrimental to your love life, where else should you go? Allow me to suggest some alternatives.
1. Go somewhere you can have a laugh. In my opinion, comedy shows are an excellent choice. Laughter is aphrodisiac, contagious and rejuvenating.
2. Try something cultural. I would also recommend live music shows, museums, galleries, and the beach whenever possible. These, rather than mere locations, are actual activities that you’re doing together and allow you both to quickly assess if there’s chemistry and potential for a relationship.
3. Go for a friendly drink. If you’re not the outdoorsy or the adventurous type, I’d suggest happy hour. Sit next to each other at a counter, where verbal communication is easy, the context is light and casual, and yes, the bill is generally cheaper than a full dinner.
You can’t go wrong with a well thought out date along the lines of the above. If you’re unsure about how you feel, save the high pressure dinner dates for later down the road, when you know your partner better and you both have something to celebrate.
About the author: Loris is the Country Manager for Zoosk Italy. He enjoys working out and going to live shows.
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Dating and Texting
by Derek Zornizer
Nowadays, it seems that everyone from ‘tweeners’ to the elderly know how to text and use it daily. In a society where immediacy is the norm, texting has its benefits: It’s fast, easy, and an effective form of communication – ‘Communication’ not ‘conversation’. What do I mean? A text can get a message across quickly – like an address or the name of a restaurant. Texting also has its drawbacks as well and it seems now that everyone and specifically daters use texting for actual conversation. Chocked full of pictures, videos, and ‘emoticons’, texting has become the ‘preferred’ way for singles to communicate instead of actually talking to one-another. Frankly, I think that’s a shame.
The problem with texting is that it’s just…Text. You can’t hear the other person’s voice nor can you gauge the other person’s emotions from texts and when you’re trying to get to know someone of the opposite sex, those can be very important. “But what about emoticons? ” Sorry, I don’t think a smiley face can replace a person’s actual vocal inflections and I can’t count how many times I’ve misunderstood a girl’s text because I couldn’t tell if she was seriously upset or just sarcastically joking! As the old adage goes, “it’s not just what someone says that’s important, it’s how they say it.” For daters, it’s really important to get a sense of the other person by listening to what he/she is saying and when two singles rely on texting for the majority of their communication, they are not able too and thus communication is lost.
Another problem with solely texting your romantic interest is that both people can conjure up their texts with no urgency and no stress which allows both people to ‘paint’ the best possible responses to each other instead of just being ‘real’. Over the phone or in person, you can’t pause when you’re asked a question. In person, if you look uncomfortable when asked about that weird birthmark behind your ear, that’ll come through. When texting, none of that does and so you don’t get a true sense of the other person and communication is degraded.
While texting does have its purposes, like almost anything, it can be over-used and abused to the detriment of both people. When you’re just starting to date someone, communication is extremely important so being able to hear and see the other person when you converse with them helps both people get a much more accurate picture of each-other. A guy can be ‘Price Charming’ over text but just a weirdo when put on the spot in person. It happens all the time!
Call me old-fashioned but I don’t believe texting is a good method of communication and if either of you can’t muster up the courage to actually express emotions over the phone or in person, how can you actually survive a real relationship? Share your thoughts in the comments section below!
About the author: Derek is a Senior Marketing Manager in charge of mobile and has been with Zoosk for over three years. He enjoys playing guitar, working out, and a good glass of red wine.
Photo via Flickr. Creative Commons license: Attribution-NoDerivs.
3 Rules for Rekindling the Old Flame
by Matthew Talbot
Many of us have had the experience of coming across someone we dated previously, (maybe someone we took to the prom?) a few years later, and have felt an old ember of romance begin glowing again. Now that you have asked him or her out to catch up and see what might be next, what are some things to remember to help connect? Here’s 3 tips for rekindling the old flame:
1. That was then and this is now.
Whether your previous connection with your flame was a couple dates in high school or a more serious relationship, remember that intervening years and experiences have changed you both. Don’t expect to “pick up where you left off” though this may indeed happen. One of the pleasures of meeting an old friend (whether romantic or platonic) is seeing how they’ve changed since you last spent time together; savor this experience on your date.
2. Avoid “High School Reunion Syndrome”
It can be a big temptation to impress someone who we haven’t seen in years with a List of Our Awesome Accomplishments Since Then. While bringing your date up to speed on your life since you last saw one another, remember that this is not a job interview. Be yourself, and perhaps share a mildly embarrassing story from your life in the years since your last meeting – this will go a long way to connecting with your old flame and also dissolving tensions.
3. Watch Your Expectations
If your previous relationship was a more intense one, it can be a temptation to make all sorts of assumptions before your date about how it will go, and what sort of feelings the other party may have about you and your date. While the fact that you are going on a date is great, it is best to guard against getting too caught up in romantic expectations or fears. Just live in the moment on your date, and enjoy catching up with your old flame, and remember to be gentle with both yourself and your date.
About the author: Matthew Talbot works in Zoosk customer support.
Photo via Flickr. Attribution-NoDerivs, Creative Commons License.
Frugal Dating Tips For Tough Economic Times
By Aleks Oniszczak
Love doesn’t have to take a back seat in tough economic times. To the contrary, a little bit of creativity will put you back in the driver’s seat and you’ll have fun doing something different from the usual dinner and a movie!
Let’s start with dinner – what is it exactly that makes going out for dinner fun? There’s the novelty of going to a new restaurant or the familiarity and comfort of going to a favorite spot. There’s the anticipation of going out, getting ready, getting out of the house, experiencing the buzz and energy of people and conversations around you and, of course, walking back to the car and going home feeling like you’ve done something more with your time than sitting on the couch watching TV.
But most importantly, there’s the conversation with your special someone – getting to know them, sharing an experience and having fun. But this experience comes at a price! Sure it’s fun to eat sushi or check out that fancy new burger place, but it’ll cost you. If you’re on a budget, you’ll find yourself not going out very often if after paying for dinner, drinks, tax, tip, dessert etc. it eats your entire entertainment budget for the month, or even worse, puts you into debt! That my friend is no recipe for romance.
So what’s the answer? It’s simple – Coffee! Or Tea. Either will do. But, can it really take the place of dinner? Well, think about it – if you take the time to find a funky café with cozy seats and you’re with your honey, what’s not to like? You still have the planning as you do with a restaurant, you’re still going out – to a new part of town you haven’t explored before perhaps. You’re at a table together with lots of other people and couples around you, just like a restaurant. You can people watch, eavesdrop and gossip about the people and conversations around you just the same as you would if you were at one of those places where it ends with a large check on the table waiting for you to pay. You can talk, joke and stare into each other’s eyes just the same.
The only difference is that a couple of coffees are going to cost you around $5 even at “expensive” fancy cafes while even moderately priced restaurants are going to want you to part with more than that for the tip alone! Just don’t get tricked into getting a latte – you’re on a budget and the goal is to be able to go out with your honey as much as possible, not pay for the café owner’s trip to Europe. Coffee is the best deal, so stick with it. When times get better, go out for lobster – twice a day even. But until then, don’t be a shut-in, take your sweetie out and have fun!
Hope you found this post useful! Next time I post here, I’ll discuss how to derive all the fun of going out on a date to a first run 3D Imax movie – again, without breaking the bank. 
About the author: Aleks Oniszczak has followed his own dating advice and has ended up happily married, living in San Francisco working as a QA Engineer at Zoosk. Being Canadian, he enjoys Poutine, skating and universal healthcare.
Photo via Flickr. Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike.
Communication is Key: What you Say and How you Say it!
By Adrienne Hancik and David Harnois
Miscommunication happens all the time between partners. Yet it’s one of the most easily avoidable issues! All you need to know is how to communicate effectively. Here are some tips on how to become better at it and, in turn, become a better partner:
1. Pick the appropriate time and place for a discussion, when you both have time and a private setting. If you have just had an argument, make sure that you have allowed time to cool off and think over the issue. Trying to communicate effectively while still angry is usually a bad idea and DO NOT try to solve a big issue via text messaging!
2. First seek to understand, and only then to be understood. Try to put yourself in their shoes to get a different perspective. Be open and try to seeing the situation the way they see it.
3. Be aware of how you say things. Tone is very crucial. Use “I” phrases like, “I felt sad when you…”
4. Think of your partner as a very sensitive person. Even if they may not show it on the outside, your partner has emotions! Always be kind with your words, respectful, and polite.
5. Don’t make assumptions. You’re not a mind-reader! So ask your partner how she/he feels if you are unsure.
6. Avoid controlling the outcome. Learn to be able to compromise equally, while respecting each other’s wishes and values. A win-win situation is possible!
7. Stay positive! Miscommunication happens to everyone. They are usually little issues that can be ironed out. Don’t blow the small issues out of proportion but DO address them if they bother you because they usually lead to something bigger.
Remember, you and your partner are a team. If you keep these tips in mind while communicating, you will be able to overcome any challenges together and come out with an even closer, loving, and more understanding bond.
Do you have more suggestions for keeping the romantic journey on course? Share them with us in our comments section!
About the authors: David works for Zoosk’s customer support. Adrienne and David are both adventurous travelers. Both being European natives, Adrienne is from the Czech Republic and David is from Belgium. After working together in 2003, they lost touch until being reconnected in 2011 by a stroke of luck. They have been together and happy since September 2011.
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