Posts tagged ‘local singles’
International Kissing Day: A Guide
July 6, International Kissing Day. What does that mean? How do we celebrate “Kissing Day”? Are we supposed to lock lips with someone special this day? Do we study kissing technique? Is the purpose to increase the quantity of smooches? Do we try new styles of kisses? Or is it just a play from Hershey’s to coerce us to buy their chocolate morsels?
Don’t we all already know how to kiss already? We’ve been kissing since we were toddlers. Do we really need a day focusing on it?
To be blunt, the answer is “yes.” We need to set aside one day for the kiss because it’s such an accepted intimate act that carries so much weight in a relationship. It seems that once they’ve been in a relationship for a while, most couples’ kissing styles begin to mesh and they find their smooching groove somewhere in the middle. But, for couples newly dating, without much kissing experience or even for some “old timers”, a little guidance might be in order to guarantee this intimate act is seen as sensual, rather than as a fiasco.
Hygiene
It all starts with cleanliness. You don’t want to go sticking your tongue into someone’s damp cave of halitosis. So, if you know there might be a make-out session in your near future, brush your teeth beforehand. If that’s not possible, carry a travel size bottle of Scope, some mints or a stick of gum to freshen and not offend.
I remember in high school kissing a girl once after she’d eaten what seemed like a wheel of cheese. She wanted to make this kiss an event. Not a good thing. And, while we’re on the subject, fellas, if kissing is in on the horizon, shave so you don’t leave her with stubble rash.
Eyes
The big question: open or closed? The simple answer: closed…duh. Once you have made lip-lock, there’s really no reason to open your eyes. Keep them closed and enjoy the ride. If you open them and your partner catches you, you run the risk of coming off kind of creepy. But, then again, you just caught them with their eyes open, too. Could be a match made in heaven.
Hands
Where do you put your hands while you’re kissing? It really depends on your position. Are you standing at a door? Sitting on a sofa? Lying on a bed? If you’re standing, wrapping your arms around your partner and rubbing their back is a safe way to go (think slow, sensual strokes). Another safe bet for most any position is even placing the hands the face (a hand cupping the jaw or lightly touching the cheek). Hands in your pockets? No!
Tongue
Once the tongue comes into play with a kiss, you start to open the door to passion. A tongue can really heighten a kiss, but it can also douse the fires of excitement if used improperly. Remember, inch for inch, the tongue is the strongest muscle in the human body. So, use that power for good, not evil. That means no shoving or forced entry. And, by all means, keep it in the mouth. No one needs you lapping their lips and chin like a Golden Retriever. Use your tongue to tease and seduce, and you’ll be fine.
Celebrate the kiss today, July 6th. Smooch good-bye on the cheek. Give a peck on the lips in the morning. Increase the passion a la the French. But, be sure that there’s meaning behind each lip-lock. Have fun.
Leon Scott Baxter is America’s Romance Guru and author of A Labor With Love and Out of the Doghouse and the new book, The Finance of Romance
Got some kissing advice you’d like to share? Share your lippiest tips in our comment section!
Worth 1000 Words: Making the Most of Your Online Dating Profile Picture
Along with your profile text, your picture is, really, all you are on line. Your words are your voice and your picture gives you a face. Zoosk has policies about prohibited photos (https://www.zoosk.com/photo_guidelines.php) and we require that you have at least one photo on your profile before you interact with other members; a clear picture of just you, showing your full (or mostly) face. If you think about it, that makes sense: without a face your messages are just a voice with no body! You’re like a ghost: Spooooooky! So if you want to be not-so-creepy, you’ll want the best pictures you can get. Now, in all honesty, I am not a photographer, but from several years working online I can offer you some good advice about what is a bad photograph!
The most common problem is the blurry shot. Back in the day this was caused by poorly focused lenses and incorrect shutter speed, but no one uses such jargon when talking about digital photographs: what matters is called “resolution” or “pixels-per-inch” and when a picture gets blurry it’s called “pixelation”. Forget the lingo: what it means is that some pictures look quite nice very small but when enlarged they look horrid! Here is a sample:
Notice that the smaller version looks ok. When expanded to display size (as on your Zoosk datecard) the picture looses all clarity. This is a bad choice for any photo and our moderating team will probably delete it. The solution is to start with a larger photo:
If you have a larger photo to start with it won’t expand and so it will show in exactly the way you expect it to. A blurry pic doesn’t say anything bad. Other pictures manage to convey a message you mightn’t like however.
Don’t hide your face! This sends a message, loud and clear, to the other Zooskers looking at your profile: “I have something to hide. There’s a reason I’m too embarrassed to show off my face!” Got a girlfriend already? If you don’t want to look like some sort of creepy lurker, show your face!
One other problem affects other-wise perfectly good photos: the group shot.
Whose profile is this? Yes, you might be able to piece it together from other parts of the profile or by pairing it up with other pictures, but what if this is your only photo? We do ask that your primary photo, at least, be of you only: a clear shot of your face. Imagine going on your first date in a candle-lit restaurant, would your fellow Zoosker know you from your photo?
Of course you could edit this picture so it was only one face or the other, but then you’d have a too-small picture that would show up blurry on the site just like our first example. This is fated to be a second photo, but not a primary one.
A companion problem is pictures that are too dark. These are usually taken with your computer camera – often with a light coming from behind. This throws off what is called the “exposure” in the picture:
Natural lighting works best, but sometimes your computer may not want to travel outside! Cell phones are good if they take good photos and you can easily get the photo from your phone to the web. If you have an Android phone or an iPhone/iPad, our Zoosk Apps (available for all three) will let you take a photo and upload it directly to your Zoosk Datecard!
There are some photo problems that seem to affect some users more than others.
Guys seem to take this picture a lot, and we’ve noticed that woman just don’t like it. At all. Not one little bit. In fact, we get complaints about pictures like this and so it violates our moderation rules. We delete pictures like this whenever we see them. Why do guys take this picture over and over? This may be one of the great mysteries of the universe. This says several things to other users:
You have no friends.
You do have a very big ego.
Probably not much else, however.
You wouldn’t know how to get a woman’s attention if you tried.
Trust me: you have friends! One of them will help you take pictures! Just ask – and if you do, indeed, have the sort of body that you can show off, a picture of you relaxing by the pool on vacation is way better than inside your bathroom!
What works best for a primary photo is a nice, smiling picture; the classic head-shot. But what happens if you add a picture to your profile and instead of looking right it looks like the one below?
We’ve got you covered there! Next to each picture uploaded on your photo page, you’ll find a blue button that says “Edit”. Clicking there will help you make simple changes: you can rotate the picture and cut it to size.
There we go!
We do allow secondary photos on your profile, you can have a total of six different shots. It’s best to show your readers things you enjoy such as you skiing or you in the Community Choir, or you relaxing on the beach with a tropical beverage (preferably with lots of fruit and an umbrella).
All pictures are seen by our moderation team and in the review process they may get deleted. If a picture suddenly vanishes from your profile, it’s possible it was moderated and deleted. There are some things that we just don’t allow and you can find out about that on our photo policy page, https://www.zoosk.com/photo_guidelines.php. Those aside I hope this post helps you avoid not just “illegal” pics but also “bad” ones. Feel free to contact customer support by email (mailto:support@zoosk.com) or by phone (888-939-6675) if you have any questions.
Zoosk “National Humor Month” Survey Finds Humor is an Aphrodisiac
In celebration of National Humor Month, which is observed during the month of April, Zoosk.com, the romantic social network, surveyed nearly 700 Americans to ask them about the role of humor in relationships. The survey respondents included singles, people in a committed relationship, and married couples. Interestingly, the responses were nearly identical , regardless of relationship status. Here’s a fun infographic showing what we found!
What role does humor play in your relationship? Tell us in the comments section below!
How Much Does a Polar Bear Weigh?
My good friend Brandon uses this joke to illustrate ice breakers. The answer is ‘enough to break the ice.’ He uses this as an example of bad pickup lines. But the truth is that that there’s no such thing as an ideal icebreaker. I once started going out with a girl by telling her that she “looked ridiculous like this, without a mustache”.
This can sound silly, but it covers a few points that I would like to touch on. To work, an ice breaking line has to be unexpected, smart or funny… and appropriate: You have to remember that you want the person to feel at ease.
What should you say when you first get in touch? Use their photos or, even-better, their Facebook Likes, as a topic for a clever comment.
Don’t forget: This first impression also has to represent you. I don’t believe in making yourself look/sound different than how you actually look and talk. This could be trouble later.
It is all about starting a conversation. Just avoid the weather or other impersonal topics. There is no limit, anything can work as a conversation starter. You can even practice on random people before you send that first message to someone you’re really interested in. Talk to your new neighbor in the morning (and ask if their dog has gained weight or of it is its owner who lost some).
Talk to the person next to you in the bus. Talk to a new coworker every day.
Say a little something to the person who serves you lunch.
This will improve your personal life on multiple levels. Say something nice to someone and they will remember you. Say something funny and they will remember you. This will improve your neighborhood life, and help you gain confidence. The next level is to mix both and say something nice and funny to the person you’re after, and you’re well on your way to starting a romantic journey with them!
What’s your favorite ice-breaker? Share it in our comment section!
Claude Sullivan,
Country manager, Zoosk Marketing
Claude is a traveler, surfer and eternal romantic. French Native, he loves to cook and enjoys every minute of the life on this world.
A Second Chance to Make that First Impression?
You know the feeling. You see a message from someone whose profile you’ve checked out and a smile comes over your face. Eventually, when you reply, your well-crafted responses get another message in return.
You seem to be well on your way to building a connection and mustering the courage to ask your new Zoosk crush out for a coffee. And then….nothing. You get no response and days go by. You try not to think about it, but somewhere, in the back of your mind, you’re wondering what went wrong.
Was it something I said?
Did s/he check out my pictures again and saw something they didn’t like?
While sitting at a red light or waiting in the supermarket line, you remember that picture that initially got your interest in passing. But, some time goes by and you forget all about it. After all, there’re thousands of other potential dates around you.
But what if you want to give it another shot?
Ignore the fact that you haven’t heard from them in weeks. Have you never become so busy that you missed an email?
Message them again with a brand new topic. Lightly reference your previous conversation and ask them for that coffee now. It can go something like this:
“So hey, there’s an amazing indie band playing at the Main Street Cafe, I hear they kinda sound like that ____Band They Said They Like Here____.”
They may easily pass prefer meeting to playing catch-up with their messages. Remember, they did join a Romantic Social Network and it was to meet people like you!
Do you have other clever suggestions for breaking the ice again? Share them in our comments section!
Alex is a the PR Manager for Zoosk and, on his free time, he likes to DJ Electro House music and is learning to build furniture.
Manners: A Refresher Course
Manners are the core principle of being a gentleman. Nowadays, they have slightly disappeared from one’s education, and the world in which we live in, slowly forgetting what people took centuries to learn.
I was brought up in a family where manners were important, without being too strict. My dad used to tell us that we were lucky, that when he was growing up, kids were not allowed to speak at the dinner table.
The manners I have been brought up with are pretty simple but, I believe, necessary – if you want to be able to fit into any social situation. The first rule is: always be mindful of others and this is the common thread of all the ‘rules’ on the list below.
If you want to make a good impression on a first date, I believe these tips are as important as brushing your teeth:
- Always hold the door for others (Not only for women).
- Let ladies go through the door first.
- Let the woman go first everywhere except up stairs.
- Keep your nostril explorations for when you are on your own.
- When invited somewhere, never come empty handed. Bring wine, chocolates or a small gift.
- Always wait for the other to be finished before talking, interrupting is rude.
At the table:
- The host has to arrange a table plan (Those things are not only for weddings !), but this doesn’t need to be too formal.
- Nobody starts eating before everyone is served (unless the host says otherwise).
- Never put elbows on the table (not too enforced anymore, but useful in presence of older and very uptight people).
- Never speak with your mouth full.
- Never chew with your mouth open, making a noise is very rude.
- Eat everything, at least a little bit even if you don’t like it.
- Never lick your knife.
- Always serve the ladies first! (This makes me crazy at a restaurant. I usually go against the waiter(ess) when they serve me first, and make sure my date has her plate in front of her first).
I might be missing out on a few, but following these principles really make a difference in everyday life. Apply these principles to your life and see how people’s perception changes! What other politeness mistakes can you think of? Let us know in the comments section.
Claude Sullivan,
Country manager, Zoosk Marketing
Claude is a traveler, surfer and eternal romantic. French Native, he loves to cook and enjoys every minute of the life on this world.
Chivalry Isn’t Dead… Or Is It? The Secret To Being Romantic!
Many of us forget the “good ol’ days” when men would court a lady, literally, for months before anything intimate would happen…In the 1800’s. Of course, back then, not respecting a woman was out of the question. Since the Women’s Movement, women have become increasingly self sufficient if not entitled to “do it herself” and we have forgotten that we really (if not secretly) want a man to do special, “non-necessary” things for us, such as opening the door for us or buying us flowers for no reason. Most importantly, it’s all about the details and guess what? We’re not going to tell you to do any of those things because we don’t want to have to do that.
For example, finding out as much as you can about the woman you’re interested in is one of the most important steps to take in order to woo her! If you win her heart, her trust and make her laugh, you’re going to have a great time. Find out her interests, her favorite color, her favorite thing to do, her favorite food. Create a moment that includes one or more of those things, otherwise fellas, it’s going to look like you’re only interested in that one thing.
One of the key things a woman will pick up on is whether your intentions are sincere, or if you’re just in it for another reason. Let’s face it, dating can be hard work, but the right intentions, a little extra effort, time, and creativity will take you very far and get you more dates! Remember, you can always ask a female friend questions about this and she’ll be happy to help you become more romantic!
Love is in the air…
Amber
Zoosk Customer Support
Amber is a Singer, Photographer, Artist, and has written a children’s novella as well as several articles in local newspapers.
Don’t Need Money, Honey To Have a Good Time
How to Not Let low-funds interrupt your romantic journey.
Even though we often feel the need to spend a lot of money on first dates, a bigger personality will leave more an impact than a bigger bill. If you’re low on cash, or simply do not want to let your date know about your finances– a creative inexpensive first date may be in order.
You can take advantage of museums that often have a day every month when you can go for free or gallery walks with free wine and cheese!. Check your local newspaper for free events. Your date will appreciate doing something different and cultural, instead of just seeing the latest movie.
When all else fails, look around your home, and kitchen, and use what you’ve already got. Try creating your own scavenger hunt that will take you and your date around to interesting areas. A spontaneous picnic on the grass, or a midnight game of truth-or-dare poker with your own rules will show that you are never bored, and thus never boring.
Any and all of these ideas cost little to no money, and yet will show off your creative and spontaneous side. If the chemistry is off, you will still have new surroundings or an interesting subject with which to engage. If you two hit it off, then there is no pressure to enjoy the expensive background, and leaves plenty of space for the date to become more intimate. Either way, ‘no money’ does not have to mean ‘no fun’.
Share YOUR creative, inexpensive date ideas with us in our comments section! Until the next date, this is Drew signing out.
Congratulations Thomas from Queensland, Australia
“We met and chatted on Zoosk for some time. We eventually decided to meet up after talking online and countless texts. We spent the weekend together and chatted as though we had known each other forever. The rest is history, and every day is better than the last.” – Thomas from Queensland, Australia
Congratulations Thomas and we find your story very inspiring!
Do you have a Zoosk success story of your own? Send your Zoosk success story to success [at] zoosk [dot] com! We’d love to feature it!
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Zoosk has received heart-warming letters from couples from all over the world have found love on Zoosk. We are proud to share 
