Today’s topic is breakups. Ask me, the Heart, how to do them, on Zoosk’s Facebook page today. How to get over them. Ask me anything. I’ll pick my favorite and post a video response.
With International Kissing Day right around the corner, one can’t help but think more about kissing. In a big way, kissing is the true odometer of your romantic journey. Think about it. That first one is full of significance and promise – a kind of romantic fanfare to welcome the possible beginning of a new relationship. Early on in dating, kissing becomes a sort of celebration of your romance evolving into something special. As the honeymoon period of dating begins to plateau, kissing becomes a more-casual way to confirm your togetherness. By now, you’re probably only really going at it like high schoolers when a bit tipsy or as a launch pad for a more-intimate encounter.
About a year into your coupledom, you’re unlikely to be making out at red lights. Now, it’s a way to say ‘thanks’, ‘hello’ or ‘have a good day at work.’ It’s affection, not passion. And it’s sublime. Primates: orangutans and chimps kiss. Not each other – they don’t live in the same habitats – but certainly within their own species. It’s a biological instinct wired right into our most ancient brains. It’s the most intimate way to communicate a feeling that’s hard to express otherwise. So, this July 6th, take some extra time to do a bit of extra kissing. There’s just no way you’ll regret it!
Alex Shapiro is the PR manager for Zoosk who likes to DJ, write and think about kissing.
How do you feel about kissing? Tell us in our comments section!
How do you create a joint couple profile with your special someone? This short instructional video shows you how to start creating and sharing your romantic journey on Zoosk. Invite your significant other.
Presented by Zoosk, the Romantic Social Network. Written, directed, and voiced by Juliette Tang. Recorded and edited by Nelsen Brazill.
Zoosk on Facebook | Zoosk on Twitter | Zoosk on YouTube
Romance is all about sending the right messages. Which is why Zoosk went to a message-sending professional to ask for love advice. Check out Love Lessons from a Bike Messenger, the latest in Zoosk’s Love Lessons series!
Along with your profile text, your picture is, really, all you are on line. Your words are your voice and your picture gives you a face. Zoosk has policies about prohibited photos (https://www.zoosk.com/photo_guidelines.php) and we require that you have at least one photo on your profile before you interact with other members; a clear picture of just you, showing your full (or mostly) face. If you think about it, that makes sense: without a face your messages are just a voice with no body! You’re like a ghost: Spooooooky! So if you want to be not-so-creepy, you’ll want the best pictures you can get. Now, in all honesty, I am not a photographer, but from several years working online I can offer you some good advice about what is a bad photograph!
The most common problem is the blurry shot. Back in the day this was caused by poorly focused lenses and incorrect shutter speed, but no one uses such jargon when talking about digital photographs: what matters is called “resolution” or “pixels-per-inch” and when a picture gets blurry it’s called “pixelation”. Forget the lingo: what it means is that some pictures look quite nice very small but when enlarged they look horrid! Here is a sample:
Notice that the smaller version looks ok. When expanded to display size (as on your Zoosk datecard) the picture looses all clarity. This is a bad choice for any photo and our moderating team will probably delete it. The solution is to start with a larger photo:
If you have a larger photo to start with it won’t expand and so it will show in exactly the way you expect it to. A blurry pic doesn’t say anything bad. Other pictures manage to convey a message you mightn’t like however.
Don’t hide your face! This sends a message, loud and clear, to the other Zooskers looking at your profile: “I have something to hide. There’s a reason I’m too embarrassed to show off my face!” Got a girlfriend already? If you don’t want to look like some sort of creepy lurker, show your face!
One other problem affects other-wise perfectly good photos: the group shot.
Whose profile is this? Yes, you might be able to piece it together from other parts of the profile or by pairing it up with other pictures, but what if this is your only photo? We do ask that your primary photo, at least, be of you only: a clear shot of your face. Imagine going on your first date in a candle-lit restaurant, would your fellow Zoosker know you from your photo?
Of course you could edit this picture so it was only one face or the other, but then you’d have a too-small picture that would show up blurry on the site just like our first example. This is fated to be a second photo, but not a primary one.
A companion problem is pictures that are too dark. These are usually taken with your computer camera – often with a light coming from behind. This throws off what is called the “exposure” in the picture:
Natural lighting works best, but sometimes your computer may not want to travel outside! Cell phones are good if they take good photos and you can easily get the photo from your phone to the web. If you have an Android phone or an iPhone/iPad, our Zoosk Apps (available for all three) will let you take a photo and upload it directly to your Zoosk Datecard!
There are some photo problems that seem to affect some users more than others.
Guys seem to take this picture a lot, and we’ve noticed that woman just don’t like it. At all. Not one little bit. In fact, we get complaints about pictures like this and so it violates our moderation rules. We delete pictures like this whenever we see them. Why do guys take this picture over and over? This may be one of the great mysteries of the universe. This says several things to other users:
You have no friends.
You do have a very big ego.
Probably not much else, however.
You wouldn’t know how to get a woman’s attention if you tried.
Trust me: you have friends! One of them will help you take pictures! Just ask – and if you do, indeed, have the sort of body that you can show off, a picture of you relaxing by the pool on vacation is way better than inside your bathroom!
What works best for a primary photo is a nice, smiling picture; the classic head-shot. But what happens if you add a picture to your profile and instead of looking right it looks like the one below?
We’ve got you covered there! Next to each picture uploaded on your photo page, you’ll find a blue button that says “Edit”. Clicking there will help you make simple changes: you can rotate the picture and cut it to size.
There we go!
We do allow secondary photos on your profile, you can have a total of six different shots. It’s best to show your readers things you enjoy such as you skiing or you in the Community Choir, or you relaxing on the beach with a tropical beverage (preferably with lots of fruit and an umbrella).
All pictures are seen by our moderation team and in the review process they may get deleted. If a picture suddenly vanishes from your profile, it’s possible it was moderated and deleted. There are some things that we just don’t allow and you can find out about that on our photo policy page, https://www.zoosk.com/photo_guidelines.php. Those aside I hope this post helps you avoid not just “illegal” pics but also “bad” ones. Feel free to contact customer support by email (mailto:firstname.lastname@example.org) or by phone (888-939-6675) if you have any questions.
My good friend Brandon uses this joke to illustrate ice breakers. The answer is ‘enough to break the ice.’ He uses this as an example of bad pickup lines. But the truth is that that there’s no such thing as an ideal icebreaker. I once started going out with a girl by telling her that she “looked ridiculous like this, without a mustache”.
This can sound silly, but it covers a few points that I would like to touch on. To work, an ice breaking line has to be unexpected, smart or funny… and appropriate: You have to remember that you want the person to feel at ease.
What should you say when you first get in touch? Use their photos or, even-better, their Facebook Likes, as a topic for a clever comment.
Don’t forget: This first impression also has to represent you. I don’t believe in making yourself look/sound different than how you actually look and talk. This could be trouble later.
It is all about starting a conversation. Just avoid the weather or other impersonal topics. There is no limit, anything can work as a conversation starter. You can even practice on random people before you send that first message to someone you’re really interested in. Talk to your new neighbor in the morning (and ask if their dog has gained weight or of it is its owner who lost some).
Talk to the person next to you in the bus. Talk to a new coworker every day.
Say a little something to the person who serves you lunch.
This will improve your personal life on multiple levels. Say something nice to someone and they will remember you. Say something funny and they will remember you. This will improve your neighborhood life, and help you gain confidence. The next level is to mix both and say something nice and funny to the person you’re after, and you’re well on your way to starting a romantic journey with them!
What’s your favorite ice-breaker? Share it in our comment section!
Country manager, Zoosk Marketing
Claude is a traveler, surfer and eternal romantic. French Native, he loves to cook and enjoys every minute of the life on this world.
Many of us forget the “good ol’ days” when men would court a lady, literally, for months before anything intimate would happen…In the 1800’s. Of course, back then, not respecting a woman was out of the question. Since the Women’s Movement, women have become increasingly self sufficient if not entitled to “do it herself” and we have forgotten that we really (if not secretly) want a man to do special, “non-necessary” things for us, such as opening the door for us or buying us flowers for no reason. Most importantly, it’s all about the details and guess what? We’re not going to tell you to do any of those things because we don’t want to have to do that.
For example, finding out as much as you can about the woman you’re interested in is one of the most important steps to take in order to woo her! If you win her heart, her trust and make her laugh, you’re going to have a great time. Find out her interests, her favorite color, her favorite thing to do, her favorite food. Create a moment that includes one or more of those things, otherwise fellas, it’s going to look like you’re only interested in that one thing.
One of the key things a woman will pick up on is whether your intentions are sincere, or if you’re just in it for another reason. Let’s face it, dating can be hard work, but the right intentions, a little extra effort, time, and creativity will take you very far and get you more dates! Remember, you can always ask a female friend questions about this and she’ll be happy to help you become more romantic!
Love is in the air…
Zoosk Customer Support
Amber is a Singer, Photographer, Artist, and has written a children’s novella as well as several articles in local newspapers.
“We met and chatted on Zoosk for some time. We eventually decided to meet up after talking online and countless texts. We spent the weekend together and chatted as though we had known each other forever. The rest is history, and every day is better than the last.” – Thomas from Queensland, Australia
Congratulations Thomas and we find your story very inspiring!