Posts Tagged matches
In love, remember to check your baggage at the door
By Juliet O
A widely accepted law of dating states that the longer you date, the more baggage you accumulate. Thinking back to your earliest relationships, don’t certain words come to mind, like naive, innocent, simple? Things were so uncomplicated way back when all you had to worry about regarding love was a curfew and what your parents were going to say. A first love is such a beautiful thing, because the first loves seem so innocent, unbridled, and pastoral. But the moment you get hurt for the first time, everything changes. After our first loves wane away, we develop shells and shields and build walls — we close ourselves up out of defense, and we don’t let anyone access those deep, vulnerable parts of ourselves quite that way ever ever again. And like a hermit crab that carries everything on its back, we start dragging our baggage along everywhere.
But baggage can also destroy relationships, especially when one tries to hoist their baggage on someone else. Say that your baggage is the memory of your ex. And you take that memory with you everywhere, including on dates with new people, and your ex becomes the ubiquitous elephant in the room? That can definitely damage your chances at a new relationship. Or what if your particular baggage is the jealousy that you developed as the result of getting hurt in the past? Hoisting that baggage on a new, unsuspecting partner cannot possibly be conducive to a future relationship. And when you act jealously toward people, and they leave you because they can’t take it anymore, you only become more jaded and more jealous. The danger of baggage is that it has a way of multiplying itself.
So how do we deal with this baggage issue? (more…)
Add comment November 9, 2009
Promoting your online dating profile via social media tools
By Juliet O
You’ve put all that work in making a great Date Card, but you’re still not fully satisfied with the number of clicks you’re getting? You want to raise your page views, but don’t know what to do? It’s not you, don’t worry. But it’s not your Date Card, either. There are simple ways to get even more profile views and raise your chances of meeting the right person on Zoosk, by simply following some of our tips on promoting your online dating profile via social media tools.
Great online dating profiles shouldn’t just sit there waiting to be discovered. Take your online dating fate into your own ambitious, single-person hands! If you want love in this day and age, there is no shame on promoting yourself, within reason, to making finding it an easier process. There are definitely ways to raise your chances of having your profile fall across the path of the right person, on Zoosk and on the web. Here are our suggestions. (more…)
1 comment October 27, 2009
How to talk about relationships without talking about relationships
By Juliet O
You know in those beginning stages of getting to know someone (whether in real life or online) when you know you like this person but you’re trying to figure out if they like you? You don’t really know how they feel 100% (plus you’re shy) so you don’t really want to start talking about being “in a relationship”, plus you don’t know how to bring up the topic in the first place without being the weirdo who brings up the topic in the first place. Right? How existential and circular. I feel like I’m in a Charlie Kaufman screenplay. But seriously, how do you talk about relationships without talking about relationships? Specifically, how do you say things like “I want to be in a relationship with you but let’s talk about it” without sending out total creep or stalker or crazy person vibes?
Through my extensive first person research and years spent analyzing this very topic exactly, I know of some great methods for talking about relationships without talking about relationships. There are ways, as counterintuitive as it seems, to bring up the relationship chat without explicitly bringing it up. I suppose some people would view this as a failure of communication, but I think of it more as “communicating subtly” (i.e. self preservation). For the shy ones out there, here’s how you do it.
Add comment October 22, 2009
Vote Zoosk for Best Facebook App in Mashable’s 3rd Annual OpenWeb Awards
Mashable’s 3rd Annual OpenWeb Awards are open for user submitted nominations and votes. Last year, Zoosk won an OpenWeb Award for Best Dating and Romance site. This year, Dating and Romance is no longer a category, so Zoosk is up for overall Best Facebook Application! We’re excited for the opportunity to win this category, so help us out with your nominations and we will love you forever (and ever and ever).
How do you nominate Zoosk for Best Facebook Application? Simply go to the Best Facebook Application nomination landing page. Make sure you are logged into Mashable via your Facebook username and password (to vote, you must log in via Facebook Connect). Once you’re on the nominations landing page, type “Zoosk” into the field for “Best Facebook App”. Then hit “Submit”. You’re done. Beautiful.
Nominate us, and then tell your friends to nominate us. We love you dearly. Please love us back? 
Add comment October 19, 2009
Why do we look for love?
By Juliet O
Why do we search for love? I might as well ask you why the sun shines or why water is wet. We don’t always know why we search for love; we just do it. Perhaps the only answer to such a complex question is simply “because.” Most of us hope that one day we will find someone we love who will love us back, with whom we can grow with in an affectionate, positive relationship of the sort that fairy tales describe as “happily ever after”. We don’t really question why. We feel an almost subconscious drive, and in our search most of us encounter a lot of false alarms, dead ends, and failures before finding the person who makes all our struggles worth the effort.
I recently posed to our Zoosk community a question, “Why do you search for love? What are your personal reasons for continuing along the path towards relationship fulfillment?” The answers I received were a surprising and poignant study on the depths of the human heart. It seems that our community is a romantic bunch, and they’re looking for love because, in the words of one Zoosker, “I am looking for hope.” Here’s what some of our other Zooskers had to say. Get out your Kleenex.
4 comments October 15, 2009
Some conversation ideas for a first date
By Juliet Ohai
First date jitters are the worst. Letting your nerves get the best of you can lead to a number of absolute first date blunders: talking too much, saying weird things, saying things you don’t mean, sweating profusely, blushing constantly, stammering, being creepy… the list goes on.
One of the absolute worst things that can happen to you as a result of first-date jitters is not saying anything at all. Contributing to the conversation is something you absolutely have to do if you go on a date, and if conversation halts to a stand-still, both parties need to facilitate conversation to keep it going. Saying yes to a date is like signing a contract, agreeing, “As long as you aren’t some sort of twisted, loathsome supervillain, I will do my best to talk to you for the duration of our date.” But talking — even rote, mundane, smalltalk — isn’t always easy, particularly if you’re nervous.
So we’ve come up with some talking points for you, to use as a prompt when conversation starts to dry up. Don’t get flustered! Remember, this date is in your hands. Remember these prompts, and never have a silent, awkward date ever again.
4 comments October 7, 2009
Online dating rule: take things slow
By Juliet O
“Take it slow” is probably the single best piece of relationship advice that people never seem to want to hear. Like relationships in real life, online relationships can also move way too fast. And I don’t have to remind you about the story of the turtle and the hare. There are many reasons to take things slowly on Zoosk, but the biggest reason is also the most obvious one: you don’t know this other Zoosker yet. And you should get to know them, before you meet in real life.
Reducing the speed at which you barrel toward love, marriage, and mortgage, actually makes dating more fun. Many people claim that the very best time to be in love is at the beginning of relationships, when all the euphoric, mesmerizing feelings of love are at their most intense. Why not prolong that intensity as long as possible? When poets write about love, they are almost never talking about comfortable long term relationships. They write about the dizzying feeling of falling in love with someone and the first stages of blossoming affection. Let the excitement of falling in love last as long as possible! There is simply no need to hurry. What’s the rush? If it’s meant to be, it will be.
5 comments September 11, 2009
August was a good month for love
Hurray! It’s that time of the month again, when we reveal the winning couple of the previous months’ Success Story contest. We’ve heard many beautiful love stories that left our hearts fluttering, but the August story that particularly tugged on our heartstrings was sent to us from a Zoosker from Detroit named Jason. He initially sent in this message on August 20, after he encountered a woman named Ang on Zoosk. In fact, he sent us this success story before he actually met Ang in real life, while they were still just chatting on the phone!
2 comments September 9, 2009
How to write a date card that will get you dates
By Juliet O
There aren’t many situations in life where it’s acceptable to talk at length about yourself to random strangers without pause or interjection. Even less socially acceptable is to start disclosing, unprovoked, your life story, what you’re looking for in a life partner, your ideal date, your music taste, and your favorite movies — in rapid succession — to people you don’t know and have never met. We know people who do that in real life. They are called “crazy people”.
Unless, that is, you are writing your Zoosk online dating profile – in which case talking about yourself is not only appropriate, but encouraged. And totally sane, we promise.
We recently showed you how to create a date card that doesn’t suck. Now, we’re going to take things a step further and give you tips on how to write — or in more poetic terms, “trick out” — your date cards. (more…)
1 comment August 21, 2009
100,000,000 matches and counting
Lately, I have seen a ton of folks announcing hitting milestones in their communities and celebrating them all. So I thought about major milestones that Zoosk has hit recently. It turns out we had a few of our own this summer:
100,000,000 Matches
On August 21st, we crossed 100 million conversation mark. In other words, since Zoosk’s birthday, we have enabled 100 million pairs to match and have conversations with each other through Zoosk. Some of these matches have turned into friendly flirts, some into dates, and some into relationships that will last for a long time. We have already received invitations to some of the weddings that have happened through Zoosk and know of Zoosk babies that are due soon . We always love to hear Zoosk stories, so please share yours.
8,000,000 Zooskers
About three weeks later, the number of users on Zoosk crossed 8 million which makes for a very big, happy family. These Zooskers are coming from almost all countries on the planet speaking many languages which makes for a very fun family reunion party.
We here at Zoosk have had a ton fun helping to grow this community to where it is today and we are very thankful to every single Zoosker for making the site a better place by their presence. But we are just getting started. Zoosk isn’t even one year old and these milestones, as impressive as they are, will only be the stepping stones for bigger things for the Zoosk community.
The interesting thing is that we didn’t even notice that we have crossed these milestones. Our team is super focused on making the experience better for our users everyday and these milestones are simply byproducts of making our users happier with Zoosk.
Happy Zoosking!
4 comments September 27, 2008
