Congrats, Verity and Matthew, now married!

Matt and I met on Zoosk in March 2008. Once we met, we were unable to spend much time apart, as our connection was so strong. I had a son from a previous relationship and Matt was a father to him from the start. Matt thinks of him as his own child and they have such a close bond, something that I had never seen before.

A few months after we met on Zoosk, we decided to move in together. In December 2008 we went on holiday to Las Vegas. On our last evening Matt got down on one knee and proposed to me at dinner in the Eiffel Tower Restaurant overlooking the dancing fountains at the Bellagio. I said “yes” unable to hold the tears back and spent the majority of the rest of the evening unable to stop crying. I was so happy at that moment in time. The three of us were going to become a family.

We married in July 2009 in Chester, England and even had a Vegas themed reception with a casino because we loved our holiday so much. It is just over 2 years since we first met on Zoosk and we are thrilled to be expecting our second child in September!

Thank you so much Zoosk for your wonderful application that brought us together. We couldn’t be happier right now and it’s all thanks to you.

Verity & Matthew Peeke-Vout

Yay for another Zoosk.com success story!

Congratulations Tiana and Daniel from Columbus, Ohio, for finding each other on Zoosk! Without further ado, behold their adorable love story, sent to us from lovely Tiana herself:

I met my dream man (and hopefully one day my husband) here on Zoosk on Christmas Eve, 2009. I had just gotten out of a 3-year relationship with my daughter’s father and decided to see what Zoosk was about! So I set up my profile and started to get winks and messages. I saw Daniel’s profile and was instantly attracted to him!  He had no shirt on and was covered in tattoos (and tattoos are really hot to me)!

The only problem was that I didn’t know if he would be interested in dating a black woman with two kids, knowing that he had no kids and that I was 4 years older. But I decided to leave him a message and I told him that I thought he was hot and that I loved his ink!  Well the next day, Christmas, I checked my messages and didn’t expect to hear anything from him. But there it was! A message from Daniel telling me that he thought I was a sexy chocolate mama! So that made me smile, of course.

So we started chatting on Facebook. Daniel told me wasn’t looking for a relationship at that time because he himself had also just gotten out of a three-year relationship too.  Neither of us had been involved with anyone for 8 months. He was more looking for a friend and I was okay with that. Since this was over the Christmas holidays, Daniel was in Tennessee at the time visiting family, while I was in Ohio. He told me that he would be coming back to Ohio within a week. He left me his number, but I didn’t call right away. When I finally called, his voice was amazing! We talked on the phone for 2 hours that night, and the next night we talked for 4 hours!

When we finally met, over a week later, our first date was great and simple, just drinks and laughing. Our second date was two days after my 34th birthday, and Daniel showed up with a huge bouquet of the most beautiful flowers I had ever seen! He was such a gentleman! He opened the car door and the restaurant door for me and was just great (and he is still doing that)! Soon his family started wondering who he was spending so much time with and coming home with smiles! So about 3 weeks later (and several home-cooked meals from me) I met his family. His dad took about 12 of us out for dinner and it has been amazing!

Daniel decided that I was wife material on Valentine’s Day! Our relationship is wonderful, so much so that one of my coworkers is already planning OUR WEDDING! I am so glad that I got on Zoosk and met Daniel and his wonderful family! They have welcomed me and my kids into their home, as my family did to Daniel.

And to think it all started with me loving his tattoos and having the courage to tell such a hot younger guy that I loved his ink!  Thank you Zoosk!

-Tiana W. from Columbus, Ohio

In her approach to dating Daniel, Tiana did a lot of things right:

(1) She says that she had “courage” enough to talk to Daniel, and that’s how their relationship started. Zoosk girls, let’s give Tiana a round of high-fives for making the first move.

(2) Daniel and Tiana chatted online first, before talking on the phone, and then they talked on the phone for a while before meeting in real life. It’s a good idea to take things slow in online dating and to make sure you actually have interest in someone before you meet in real life. Getting to know someone online also helps build momentum and excitement once you do meet IRL.

(3) Tiana was willing to let her relationship happen naturally. Both Tiana and Daniel had just gotten out of long-term relationships, so they kept things between them low-key at first. What started as friendship turned into love, and with love, it’s good to be patient and let things unfold naturally. Good things happen to those who wait.

So, Congrats Tiana and Daniel! You’re inspiring to us all. Send us your wedding pictures

PS: If you have a Zoosk success story you’d like to share about finding true love online, send it over to met [at] zoosk [dot] com and we’d love to feature your story on our blog! Best of luck, Zooskers! <3

Congrats to Rowena and Dave from Sydney, Australia! What a sweet success story between these two Aussies. Now I have that song that goes “I’m a man from the land down under” stuck in my head.

In February 2008 I was playing around on Facebook and found the Zoosk application and decided to try it out. I am pretty sure it was me who sent the first cheesy pick up line to Dave, after his profile pic showed him playing cricket – one of my favourite sports! After contacting each other on Zoosk for a few days, we then started emailing each other and finally met up about a week later. We’ve been together ever since!! We moved in together after about 6 months and then moved from Hobart to Sydney about a year ago. We also just recently celebrated our 2 year anniversary on holiday in Hawaii, and are about to buy a house together!So THANKS Zoosk for introducing me to the love of my life!!

-Rowena from Sydney, Australia

If you have your own Zoosk online dating success story to share, send it to success [at] zoosk [dot] com. We’d love to spread the happiness and good karma!

by Julie Spira, online dating expert

Congratulations! You’ve found a Zoosker that you’d like to get to know better. You’ve chatted online and now you believe that you’d like to take the chatting offline. How do you create the excitement online that will guarantee you a fabulous date in real life?

It’s time to take notes and follow the 5 F’s of Getting to a Fabulous First Date. First of all…

1. FIND someone that piques your curiosity. Search through Zoosk Date Cards to see what you have in common behind the smiling faces by viewing “Your Likes” and answering their Icebreakers. Watch your ZooskBox fill up with potential girls that you’d like to get to know better who will be eager to meet you. Then, ramp it up and…

2. FLIRT like crazy. You have to be in to win! Engage in quick fun, and flirty emails and wait for the responses to pour in. Contact women whose Date Cards make you smile and turn up the volume on the flirting techniques. There’s over 50 million single Zooskers, so there’s plenty of women waiting to hear from you. Make sure to keep it…

3. FUN – Make sure your Icebreakers are filled out on your date card to get started. Send emails about some of the most fun activities that you have experienced to let your personality shine. If you’ve jumped out of an airplane in a parachute let her know. Camped out in Yosemite? Add it to the list. Win an award for a spelling bee? It can be as simple as this. Don’t forget to find the…

4. FACTS – After 3 emails, it’s time to dig deeper and find out more about your potential date. Is she allergic to cats? Has she been out of work for a period of time? Still not over her ex? Drinking while driving? It’s time to find out what the possible deal breakers could be and dig in and do a little homework. If she passes the test, it’s time to put a date on the calendar. Finally, remember to…

5. FOLLOW-THROUGH – The old saying, “The squeaky wheel gets the deal” holds true for online and social dating. Respond quickly to the Zoosk Flirts when you’re notified that someone has taken the time to write to you. Waiting a few days may send her the wrong message that you aren’t interested. If she’s truly a catch, other Zooskers will realize that as well.

Remember to follow the 5 Fs in your first few emails. FIND someone interesting. FLIRT like crazy. Keep it FUN and light. Get the FACTS before you meet. FOLLOW THROUGH before your potential date goes from hot to ice-cold. With these F’s in mind, get out there and date, FEARLESSLY.

About the author: Julie Spira is a worldwide authority in online dating. Her expert dating advice has appeared in numerous media outlets including The New York Times, Los Angeles Times, ABC News, CBS News, FOX News, BBC Radio, Cosmo Radio, Cyberguy, E! Entertainment, Glamour.com, Men’s Health, and the Huffington Post.  She was named one of the Top 10 Columnists to follow on Twitter. Check out her CyberDatingExpert site and her best-selling book, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online.

Today we’d like to share an adorable success story from the Garden State! Congrats Anne and Paul. Anne made the first move on Paul, and after that, well, you can read the evidence right here. It’s a heartwarming story.

My name is Annie; I’m from New Jersey. My Zoosk screen name is redvixen. I am writing to let you know that I met my someone special on your site. His name is Paul; his screen name is fungemini. I want to share our romantic story.

I was going through a divorce from a cheating husband; we’d been separated for over a year. I had tried online dating off and on when Zoosk popped up when I was on Facebook one night. On a whim, I joined. Very shortly I began getting winks, and sending some, too. I came across fungemini, liked his profile, and “Favorited” him.

A week or so later, he winked at me. We began emailing one another in November 2009; we met in person in December, early in the month. I was not looking for a serious relationship as I was still leery from my split. On the other hand, Paul was looking for a relationship — but he was willing to start as friends and see where it went.

Well, it didn’t take long before I discovered that I didn’t want to date anyone else. And Paul still felt the same. January 2nd, the day after New Year’s, we decided to become exclusive. And here we are! I feel so lucky. Paul is unlike anyone I’ve ever met. We have so much in common! I really enjoy spending time with him, whether we’re doing something or just hanging out together.

I still think I’m dreaming!

Thanks again, Zoosk!

-Anne from New Jersey

Congrats Anne and Paul! If you have your own Zoosk success story to share, send it to us with a photo of you and your loved one to success [at] zoosk [dot] com and if we showcase your story we’ll send you an online gift card as a token of our congratulations. Happy Zoosking!

By Juliet O

No one likes to be around a negative person. This principle applies equally in the real world as in the world of online dating. Any hint of negativity on your Zoosk dating profile can really kill the mood with a prospective match. On your online dating profile, negativity (and its kin: sarcasm, pessimism, abrasiveness, misanthropy, and rancor) should be used cautiously and sparingly, or better yet not at all.

Why do we develop negative patterns of thinking? Many psychology experts believes that we become negative because negative thinking is easy — and it can easily become a habit. Bad thoughts perpetuate themselves. It’s the easy way out (and a total cop out) to be negative about our lives, because the alternative — positive thinking — requires a lot more effort. We have to choose to be happy and positive, and that choice has to be maintained over the course of our lives. Positive thinking takes constant work. In many ways, positive thinking is a choice. And positive thinking is absolutely essential for a relationship to succeed.

Hmm… takes constant effort, is a choice, requires reinforcement and reevaluation over time, and doesn’t come easy? Doesn’t it sound like positive thinking here can sort-of correlate to being in a relationship? Take out “positive thinking” and insert “a relationship” in the above sentences, and you see where I’m getting at. If you show signs of negativity on your profile, it indicates that you’re taking the easy, cynical way out — and if you’re that kind of person, how can you be the sort of person who can really put in the work necessary into being in a relationship, or even open yourself up to being in a relationship in the first place?

Being pessimistic about life can and does translate into being pessimistic about relationships with other people. Negative individuals close themselves off to others and constantly worry that they are going to be let down by the people around them. You can’t maintain that kind of thinking if you want to a relationship to succeed, because dating and relationships take hope, faith, and a belief that in the end, everything will work out. “Happily ever after” doesn’t just happen. You have to work at it and believe in it. And if you show signs of negativity on your profile, you are sending the message that you aren’t the kind of person who is capable of doing that.

So how do you change a negative framework into a positive one? Here are some simple tips that can lead you in the right direction.

• Think positively. Negative thinking becomes habit over time, and just like quitting any other bad habit, you have to be highly conscious of your bad habit and reroute your behavior and thinking patterns. When you find yourself lapsing, take a deep breath and be present in the moment. Be aware. If you start feeling like you’re going to have unjustified negative thoughts, catch yourself before they get the best of you and think about something positive instead — even if it’s entirely unrelated. After enough emotional distance has passed, perhaps you can re-evaluate the situation more clearly.
• Have faith in yourself and other people. If you think that you’re going to fail, either start thinking about success or tell yourself that failure in one thing does not signify failure in all things. Take life in stride. If you find yourself thinking about the faults of other people, think about their strengths instead. Always look at the good in others.
• Write down all the negative words you can think of. Now change them to positive words. “Can’t” becomes “can,” and “failure” becomes “success” and “loss” becomes “gain”. Etc.  This is a good mental exercise.
• Stop complaining, cold turkey. Probably the best thing negative people can do for themselves is to stop complaining for a day. If you find yourself trapped in negative patterns of thinking, try this exercise: for one who day, don’t let yourself complain. Out loud or in your head, complaining is off limits.
• Decide that you aren’t going to let your negative thinking get the best of you. Make an executive decision to change your life.

If you decide to alter your negative thinking into positive thinking, make sure you take a good look at your Zoosk Date Card and make sure that it coheres to that positivity. Make sure that, in your date card, you avoid the following patterns of negative thinking.

• Self-deprecation. In your date card, don’t talk about the ways you hate yourself or your low self-esteem. Take out anything that comes off as self-loathing.
• Sarcasm. A little sarcasm in person is fine, but it doesn’t translate well over the net. You can’t hear vocal inflections, you can see facial gestures, so sarcasm often comes off as rudeness. Take it out.
• Pessimism. Get it out of your date card.
• Anything that indicates a cynical worldview.
• Any and all complaints. Your date card is not a forum for your rants or complaints. Don’t use it as one.

Now that your date card has lost its negative elements, infuse it with signs of positivity. Here are some ideas:

• Talk about things you love and that make you happy.
• Discuss your goals for the future.
• Write about your relationship hopes.
• Let your sense of humor shine.
• Get your friends to write great testimonials for you.

Good luck. Like relationships, positivity isn’t easy, but if you’re up for the challenge, the rewards of happiness make everything worth it.

For more reading on getting dates on Zoosk, check out these articles.

Simple tips on how to get more attention on Zoosk
How to trick out your Zoosk date card
How to use Zoosk to get over a broken heart
Zoosk advice on how to overcome shyness

Photo credit: aussigall

By Juliet O

All daters have fears. By dating, we make ourselves vulnerable to being hurt in many ways that are precluded by choosing to remain single. As daters, we tend to hold onto our fears, much to our own detriment. Fears hold us back and hinder us from opening ourselves up to love and fulfillment. Part of the battle of dating is in eliminating your fears — of intimacy, of vulnerability, of emotional honesty, of betrayal, of rejection, of ourselves — so that you can open yourself to the possibility of love. It’s not always easy.

Online dating presents a unique set of fears and challenges. While it may seem difficult, these fears need to be overcome if you want to date online successfully. We want to guide you through these online dating fears and give you tips on how to overcome them, because we want online dating to be a great experience for you. And why shouldn’t it be a positive experience? By online dating, you have an automatic dating pool of singles all using Zoosk for the same purpose: to hopefully find romance and connection. But how can you find romance or connection if you’re still holding onto all that fear and baggage? If you still hold onto fears or reservations regarding online dating, read this post for helpful tips on overcoming your trepidation, in order to engage with the online medium openly and fortuitously.

Fear 1: Fear of the telephone.

It’s not always easy jumping into uncharted waters and talking on the telephone. For some, the telephone is viewed with a disproportionate amount of anxiety. Most of the anxiety stems from a fear of not having anything to talk about (which can be awkward indeed). But the phone isn’t as scary as it looks or seems. In August, we published a tutorial on how to be a smooth operator on the phone. We discussed some of the basic rules of phone conversation, and we even offered some wisdom on why the phone is an important first step in online dating. Another part of the fear re: phone calls is an absence of things to discuss, of awkward pauses and momentary glitches in the flow of conversation. Fear not: here are some conversation ideas. There is no shame in writing down topics in advance to make phone conversation smoother. Honestly. The only shame is in being so scared of the phone that you don’t even make it past the online stage to a real life meeting.

Fear 2: Fear of getting close.

We all have a fear of getting close to people, but we must overcome that fear if we want to find love. As we wrote previously, “our earnestness reflects our ability to open ourselves up in relationships and put ourselves out there — even if it means revealing our vulnerabilities.” A good way of overcoming this fear is to simply look at the alternative. Being hurt is painful, but there is also pain in prolonged solitude. What’s worse? The pain of heartbreak, which dulls over time, or the pain of solitude, which only grows as time goes on? In the end, love is worth the struggle, so swallow your fears and take the leap. Even if you fall, you’ll get back on your feet.

Fear 3: Fear of other people.

Other people can be really, really scary. The scariest aspect of other people is not knowing if your idea of who they are coheres with the actual truth of who they are. You might think someone likes you, for instance, but how do you know they actually do? We fear other people most when we have an unstable view of ourselves. We fear people because we fear that they have the ability to affect us, that their being in our lives somehow affects how we view our lives. What we must realize is that no matter what happens to us, we are still fundamentally who we are. No one can remove or take that.

Fear 4: Fear of failure.

We all fear failure, not just in our relationships, but in everything. But things that are high risk are sometimes associated with the highest rewards. Love is one of those things. By letting your fear of failure hold you back, you are also denying yourself the rewards of love. That doesn’t sound like a great trade-off. Unfortunately, people do fail in love — it’s a fact of dating. But people also succeed and win big all the time. Look at how many weddings are held each day, or how many people connect with one another each day to establish rewarding, substantial relationships. It’s a total game of chance, and sometimes, playing it safe has the biggest risk of all: the risk that, in the end, you’ll miss out on love completely.

Fear 5: Fear of real life.

Real life is definitely a scary place. When you’re dating online, you are shielded from the distractions and pressures of dating in real life. The thing is, all online relationships go to the real life stage at some point, if they are to be considered successful. And if you’re so scared of real life that you don’t ever take your romance out of the virtual realm, then you miss out on the possibility of growing your online relationship into something real and lasting. How do you overcome this fear of ‘IRL’ (in real life)? Get to know someone that you meet pretty well online first, taking it slow, before heading out to meet them in real life. That way, if you feel like you already know them, you can be confident that this person won’t surprise you in a negative way. One of the first rules of online dating is to take things slow, after all. Make yourself comfortable first, before heading to real life — no shame in overcoming fear slowly.

We hope these tips have been helpful. If you like these and other Zoosk online dating tips, remember to vote for Zoosk in Mashable’s 2009 OpenWeb Awards as best overall Facebook App! We love our fans and we’d love to see you love us back. Afterall, we’re both in the business of love!