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Thoughts on Dinner Dates

by Loris Zuchetti

When going on a date with someone for the first time, it is always a good idea to start light and casual. You want to get to know each other, have fun and be safe. Amidst all the possible public places, the first thing that often comes to mind is to meet for dinner at a restaurant. Safe? Check. Have fun and get to know each other? Not so much. Why?

First, dinner puts a lot of pressure on your conversational skills, since there is no major external source of entertainment. Why make it more difficult for yourself? Also, dinner is a clichéd date. You’ve both been on several dinner dates with other people. If you’re a man, right away you are conveying that you are “conventional,” and “just another guy.” It won’t kill you, but it definitely doesn’t help you.

Thirdly, at dinner you’re often sitting across a table from each other. That table is both a physical and an emotional barrier. I’m not suggesting you should physically escalate in public. I’m saying that proximity is key to set a romantic frame with the other person. Give Cupid some room to shoot his arrows.

Lastly, not all first dates are with Mr. or Mrs. Right. I’m sure you’ve been on an awkward first date before, haven’t you? You were probably thinking of a lame excuse to bail – “My cat is not feeling well” and the like. If you’re sitting at a dinner table, it is harder and pretty awkward to get up and leave than if you’re just having a drink at a bar.

But if dinner dates are so detrimental to your love life, where else should you go? Allow me to suggest some alternatives.

1. Go somewhere you can have a laugh. In my opinion, comedy shows are an excellent choice. Laughter is aphrodisiac, contagious and rejuvenating.

2. Try something cultural. I would also recommend live music shows, museums, galleries, and the beach whenever possible. These, rather than mere locations, are actual activities that you’re doing together and allow you both to quickly assess if there’s chemistry and potential for a relationship.

3. Go for a friendly drink. If you’re not the outdoorsy or the adventurous type, I’d suggest happy hour. Sit next to each other at a counter, where verbal communication is easy, the context is light and casual, and yes, the bill is generally cheaper than a full dinner.

You can’t go wrong with a well thought out date along the lines of the above. If you’re unsure about how you feel, save the high pressure dinner dates for later down the road, when you know your partner better and you both have something to celebrate.

About the author: Loris is the Country Manager for Zoosk Italy. He enjoys working out and going to live shows.

Photo via Flickr. Creative Commons License, Attribution ShareAlike.

November 12, 2012 at 4:46 pm Zoosk 2 comments

10 Ideas for Group Dates

by Mark Wu

Picture this: Your girlfriend wants to go out with her two best friends and their boyfriends – again. Girls love planning group outings involving their significant others, but going on dates with other couples can be pretty hit or miss.

Yes, group dinner dates are enjoyable every once in a while, but once you find yourself playing the “so what do you do?” game with another dude on your sixth dimly lit tapas night, it’s time to suggest some group activities that are fun for you – that the girls will approve of, too.

1. Mixology class: You’ll graduate as a group from drinking vodka cranberries when you sign up for a cocktail making course together. Learn basic bar techniques to craft your own cocktails – and then have a drink or two together to celebrate!

2. Video game night: If you’re just looking for a fun night at home, dig up your old gaming consoles and play some of the classics. Mario Kart on N64 is a guaranteed good time for everyone.

3. Brewery tour: Head to a local brewery to join beer enthusiasts, tourists, and thirsty folks for a behind-the-scenes look at how your favorite local beer is brewed.

4. Shooting range: While definitely not a date in the traditional sense, it’s a date idea you can definitely rally the other guys behind. And it’s always nice to have others around to admire (or commiserate over) your own marksmanship.

5. Wine and cheese party: Have each couple bring over a bottle of wine and a few of their favorite cheese pairings for an easy and delicious night in. Girls love hosting, and you don’t even have to leave the house – just drink and eat cheese.

6. BYOB painting: Channel your inner artist and create your own piece de resistance at your nearest BYOB painting venue. Most painting party spots provide instructors and all of the art supplies – all you need to bring is your own wine.

7. Bowling: Bowling is a classic group activity for a reason: It’s one of the few sports that’s enjoyable even if you’re terrible at it, and the beer and greasy finger food usually makes you forget about all but those strikes.

8. See an outdoor movie: For a group twist on the traditional dinner-and-a-movie, throw together your own picnic baskets and grab a few bottles of wine to take to an outdoor movie. It’s much easier than socializing along a row of seats in a dark movie theater – plus more romantic, too.

9. Go-karting: Put your driving skills to the test with wheel-to-wheel racing at a nearby go-karting center. It’s fun, competitive, and gets the blood pumping.

10. Comedy club: Nothing breaks the ice for an awkward group date like a good laugh. And even if your group isn’t that funny, at least the show will be hilarious.

*Bonus* Minigolfing: One of my best date ideas. Think about it – it’s a low skill game so either one of you can win. It keeps you moving and occupies you with something to do, but also slow enough so that you can talk and flirt with each other. It takes a pretty reasonable amount of time. You can make fun of each other’s bad shots and bond over the great ones. It works great as a 1 on 1 date as well as a group date. Try this bad boy out on your next date!

Photo via Flickr. Creative Commons Attribution No Derivs.

About the author: Mark is a Marketing Manager at Zoosk. He enjoys playing basketball, going clubbing, and watching Jeremy Lin.